Ok, so my McBeth jokes last week didn’t fly. Or, maybe they just flew a tad too high-well over everyone’s heads save a certain Portuguese hand maiden. Than again, maybe no one's reading. Either way, this week I’ll just stick to straight reportage a la the Paul Lynde School.
Peter Marshall: Paul, is there such a thing as a female rooster?
Paul Lynde: Yeah, they're the ones who just go "a doodle doo!"
Celts won last night. Yay. Paul Pierce took over in the fourth and OT in a game versus Miami that lacked Duane Wade, Leon Powe, Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett, and [gasp] The King of Sol’s favorite, Brian Salabrine.
Peter Marshall: Paul, how many men are on a hockey team?
Paul Lynde: Oh, about half.
The WBC [Oops. Wrong link.] has been taking it’s toll on Sox players. First Dusty got banged up and then Youk had to leave the team with a sore ankle. Unfortunately, Japan beat Cuba last night to stave off elimination. That means Dice-K will pitch again. But, the good news is Youk and Dusty will be playing soon.
Peter Marshall: True or false, each generation of Americans has been about an inch taller than the previous generation...
Paul Lynde: That makes Robert Conrad an antique!
Tonight is the night you’ve all been waiting for. Yes, it’s here: the Third Thursday Harpoon event. We will be pouring Leviathan Quad tonight and our other Harpoon’s on special. Plus, some give-aways.
Peter Marshall: Paul, for a thousand dollars and a tie game, according to psychologists, do most people sleep better in their street clothes than in their pajamas?
Paul Lynde: Yeah, we call them winos.
Ok, enough beating around the bush. The NCAA tourney kicked off a little while ago. We will be showing every game at the bar. So, come in. Park for a few hours. And, soak up the specials.
Peter Marshall: Burt Reynolds is quoted as saying, "Dinah (Shore)'s in top form. I've never known anyone to be so completely able to throw herself into a..." A what?
Paul Lynde: A headboard.