Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Happy Birthday!

"Jingle Bells" is not my favorite holiday song, not even close. That honor would go to one of the following: "Please Come Home for Christmas" by Charles Brown, or "Rooster Crows at Midnight (On Christmas Day)" by Leadbelly, "Christmas Baby Please Come Home" by Darlene Love, or pretty much anything from "A Charlie Brown Christmas". But, when I'm driving 93 South from my parents place in Woburn and I spy that Medford Square exit, I can't help but think of probably the most popular of secular holiday songs, "Jingle Bells".

It's said that composer James Pierpont penned "Jingle Bells" describing Medford Square at wintertime. (That would explain why he later moved to decidely unsnowy Savanah, Georgia. Boston winters are brrrrutal.)

What's my point? The point is we're having a little Holiday party tomorrow at Thom's. Come drink on us from 6:30 to 7:30. Then get Happy Hour prices until nine.
Thanks for making our first year great!

More Christmas Links:
Frosty
Charlie Brown
Mister Magoo



Trivia Tonight!

The Q will be giving good trivia tonight for all in attendance. Come by and win prizes and impress a bunch of drunks.

Christmas Trivia: The composers Bob Merrill and Jule Styne offered a song entitled "People" for the score of "Mister Magoo's Christmas Carol" but the animation had already been completed and it was too late to include it. Instead they added it to the score of a Broadway musical they were writing called "Funny Girl", where it became the first of many hits for the star, Barbra Streisand.

Mister Magoo, you've done it again.

Support your local bartender!
Thom's bartender Sasha is competing for world fame. Please vote for her drink here: Bailey's Drink Contest



So won't you tell me you'll never more roam
Christmas and New Years will find you home
Please come home for Christmas
Please come home for Christmas
If not for Christmas by New Year's night

There'll be no more sorrow no grief and pain
And I'll be happy, happy once again
(Brown-Red)

Friday, December 15, 2006

The Dice-san Cometh

Turning Japanese? I think I'm turning Japanese. I really think so.

It'll cost over $100 million dollars, but it's finally a done deal. Daisuke Matsuzaka is a ronin no more. His new master is Red Sox Nation and the enemy is clear to us all.

If you would like to get on the Dice-san's bandwagon then it would behoove you to learn a little bit about his homeland: Nippon. First of all, you need to understand his language. You'll find all the info you need here: Perfect Translator. Next you need to learn about what they drink. A great place to start is John Gauntner's Sake World. Sign up for the news letter here. Thirdly, you need to learn about these weird gadgets they use. You know, like those dogs that hump your computer. And, you should definitely familiarize yourself with japanese cinema.

WARNING: From now on when you go to anything at Thom's you'd better get there early. PAGE 6 is on to us, and the glitteratti are sure to follow. SIGHTINGS

No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women
No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark
Everyone around me is a total stranger
Everyone avoids me like a cyclone ranger
Everyone
-The Vapors

Ah, Boston you're my home.
-The Standells

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Oh What A Night!

Bill Lee has hit the road or "frappe la rue" as he likes to put it. But, he left an indelible mark on us and the baseballs he autographed. We had a great time last night and I want to thank everyone who attended Bill Lee's 60th birthday party. I hope you had enough Spaceman Ale, steamers, and cake. The Spaceman was really floored by how many fans and old friends came out to see him, and was really impressed by the birthday card sent by the Red Sox. I think he'll definitely be back. In case you missed it, Bill shook every hand and spoke with everyone that approached him. He posed for photos and signed baseballs and DVDs. As advertised, he was a pleasure to deal with. And, if the Sox need a lefty, which they do, I think he could still throw a few innings. (Did anyone else detect a strange odor emanating from the High Times reporters?)

If you have some pictures you'd like to share of the event, please send them along and we'll post them.

Also, check out Bill soon as The Dean of Students at "Sox Fan University" on NESN.

Unfortunately, we ran long last night so we didn't get to do trivia. So, we'll have it tonight. Q will be in Qontrol with a special Wednesday night trivia.

Also tonight, we'll have our first gathering of UMASS alumni as their Minutemen take on Louisville in basketball.

Going home for the holidays? Get your tickets to Boston via Lucky Star Bus Lines at Thom's. It's $15 oneway and $30 roundtrip. What a deal! You can even take the bus from Thom's to Lucky Star. Ask your bartender.

It's hip again to be a New Englander.

And Finally, you know we've made it when the oldest school in America is covering us. (page 6 of the Fall 06 Bulletin.)

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The Spaceman Cometh


Well, it's December, so the Patriots must be banged up again. The latest on the list? Laurence Maroney. Bony Maroney has a bum back, but is probable. Rodney Harrison isn't back yet. Eugene Wilson is out for the year joining starters Junior Seau and Randall Gay on the IR. And, Vrabel gave us a heart attack when he went down on the last play of the game last week. So? So, we still have to squish the fish this Sunday at 1pm. They just lost their running back and still have Joey Harrington at QB. Look for Asante to get 9 interceptions. That's right. You heard it here first, 9.
Join us Tuesday December 12th as the legendary pitcher Bill Lee joins the folks at Thom's to celebrate his 60th birthday. The night will feature a screening of "Spaceman: A Baseball Odyssey " SpaceMan Ale by Magic Hat, steamers, and autographed materials for raffle.
Proceeds will go to charity.
Also scheduled to attend: High Times Magazine. (Go figure.)
And, don't forget it's his birthday, so try to bring a present. Show some freaking class, will ya.

Stick around after the event because The Q will be doing Spaceman themed trivia for prizes. (There'll be a sneak peek in the next newsletter.)

Warning: Do not leave Thom's drunk and attempt to tackle a news box. You will wind up in New York Magazine. Or, was David Cross just working on a bit? It seems that the Boston trained (he did about a week at Emerson) actor can't get enough of that olde towne atmosphere.




WHAT BOTHERS THE SPACE MAN?
Far from the crowd, he's the day watchman.
Walk past the trees he used to swing from.
What bothers the spaceman?
The teeth in his head?
I'm sure he could smile for us.
Wave to the people out on the lawn.
Mr. Ellis and Mr. Lee.Mr. Lee and me.
What bothers the spaceman?
What's left for him now?
I'm sure he could smile for us.
Lee Lee Lee Lee etc.
-Mono Puff

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The Legend of Second Chance Ghost Cow

Brady didn't Berry the Bears, he buried them! No more will Jim McMahon's ill-timed tap to "The Super Bowl Shuffle" haunt my head. The highlight I have now is Thom Brady's sidestep of that bridge troll Brian Urlacher. And, I think we finally solved the problem our new kicker Stephen "The Ghost Cow" Gostkowski was having: Give him two tries. At the end of the first half Ghost Cow missed a 52-yard field goal but got another try because Chicago had called timeout at the last second. He made it the second time by a hair. Thus, the legend of "Second Chance Ghost Cow" was born.

Two straight wins and the Patsies seem to be back on track. If they could just cure their case of the fumbles we might have a fun playoffs this year, especially with Jake “ The Snake” Plummer out of the way in Denver. He is the only quarterback to beat the Patsies in the playoffs in the Belichick era. Bring on Jay “The Butler” Cutler!

And speaking of fun, only two more weeks ‘til our Spaceman and Steamers event. Tuesday, December 12th we’ll be screening “Spaceman: A Baseball Odyssey”, a film about former Red Sox pitcher Bill Lee’s life in baseball. Scheduled to attend is film maker Brett Rapkin who made the documentary and Bill Lee himself who will be celebrating his 60th birthday. But, we don’t serve popcorn with a movie,we’ll be steaming up some clams and pouring Spaceman Ale by Magic Hat, brewed specifically for this event. Proceeds from the Spaceman Ale and autographed items available in raffles will be going to The Jimmy Fund. So, come out to a bar, drink beer, eat clams, and watch a movie for a good cause. We'll even let you talk politics this once.

Check out The Spaceman’s views on the Pres.


Oh, my name is Raymond Berry and I'm the leader of the Pats.
Ask Dan Marino if we're still a team of old door mats.
We're rough, we're tough.
We're lean, we're mean.
We're hungry, that's a fact.
Chicago will go down my friends to Raymond Berry's Pats.
-Bruce & The Benchwarmers

Monday, November 13, 2006

Don't Forget to Click the Title

My new favorite verb is "brightside". As in, I've been sitting around for two days trying to brightside the Patriots' loss to the Jets. Two straight losses! How do I brightside that? We're still in first place? Small consolation. The Patriots appear to have enough talent to still take the East and do very well in the playoffs. Hopefully, they'll spend the second half of the season making adjustments. Maybe they already are making adjustments! Maybe, that's why they've lost two straight games, they're making adjustments that will allow them to win the Superbowl! Phew, there, I brightsided that. (Another attempt would have been: At least I don't root for John Quinn's dirty Vikings. They suck.)

In the next two weeks The Patriots play the only teams to ever beat them in the Superbowl. That's The Packers next week and The Chicago Bears in two weeks. If the Pats are in fact making adjustments, they need to make them fast or the image of Brian Urlacher body-slamming Tom Brady is going to quickly replace that of the Fridge's fat ass rolling into the end zone that has hounded me for 20 years. Come on by Thom's and have a Thom's Ale and root for Thom Brady.

How the hell do I brightside the Red Sox of late? This year sucked eggs. And now the darned thrifty Sox are spending more money to bid on signing an unknown quantity from Japan than A-Rod spent on purple lip-balm last month. To boot, former farmhand Hanley Ramirez won NL Rookie of the Year, and the Yankees are looking at Nomar for firstbase. We still have
Josh Beckett though; he has potential! Does "Biggest Choke Ever" still hold any weight? Go Celtics? This off-season we'll be having Hot-Stove events to remind us of the good times. It all starts December 12 with a screening of "Spaceman", the Bill Lee documentary. We'll be serving steamers and Spaceman Ale, then follow it with Q's trivia night. The Red Sox might be baffling right now, but look on the brightside, you could be a Yankee fan.

Come on in every Tuesday for Q & A Trivia Night with John Quinn, and every Wednesday for Bingo with the reverend Jim McGuire.

Jealousy
Turning saints into the sea
Turning through sick lullaby
Joking on your alibi
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
-The Killers

Thursday, November 02, 2006

It's a Hit!


And what a hit it was. Clamapalooza was in full frenzy when the Patsies scored their first touchdown Monday night against John Quinn's dirty Vikings. The Pats kept rolling and we kept shucking! In all, nearly 700 topneck and monsterous cherystone clams were gulped down gullets by game's end. First timer Gareth could even be seen "enjoying" his first ever raw clam. Look for details of Clamapalooza 2.

I was lucky enough to be in Boston last night to see all of the Red Auerbach tributes (Unfortunately, the Celts didn't see fit to pay tribute to him with a win.) He was an institution in Boston, and an important part of the city's history. Everytime I went to the Garden, whether it was for a Celtics game, a Bruins game, the circus, The Ice Capades, or the Boston Shootout I remember looking for that seat they always showed on TV, where Red perched above his team awaiting the opportunity to light a victory cigar. May that seat forever remain empty. He will be missed.

But, don't you miss the Pats play the Colts this Sunday night. It's Vinateri's homecoming. I truly believe that the only reason the Pats won Monday was because you were there. Yeah, you. Do not be the reason they lose this week. Be there Sunday and bring friends!

If you believe in forever
Then life is just a one-night stand
If there's a rock and roll heavenwell,
You know they got a hell of a band, band, band

Friday, October 27, 2006

It's Almost Clam Time.

Monday night the Pats will be taking on the Vikings and you'll be shoving down raw clams (maybe a few steamed ones too). Don't forget that if you're a card carrying member of the Friends of Harpoon you'll get $3 pints of Harpoon all night. Shucks, come on down for a few.

It was 20 years ago today...
It's 20 years since Boston was declared the sports center of the universe. The Pats, Celtics, and Red Sox made it to their respective championships. The t-shirts read: "Boston, It's the balls" showing the teams' logos. Times were good despite two horrendous championships. The Globe revisited this giddy time here.

Hockey is here!
Thom's has the hockey package; so, if you're from traditional hockey towns like Nashville or Columbus or Tampa Bay or Phoenix or San Jose' come on out and root for your favorite team whoever they are, and explain the new rules to me again.

The Sweet Smell of Success
Jeter won The Hank Aaron Award for the American League's best batter. His intangibles shone through this year to voters. But, did he deserve it? Fire Joe Morgan weighs in.

And, to think none of this could have happened without the efforts of one crocked cop. "Big Bill" Devery, the original owner of the Yankees fleeced the city for years to the point where he even stole the Yankees' logo:

"In 1909 the team began using what was to become the most highly
recognizable symbol in the world when the famous "NY" made it's first
appearance on the uniforms. Of every slick, crooked thing "Big Bill" ever did...this has to be at the top of his list of larceny"

Read the rest of the story here on NBX.

Look for plenty more events during the winter. We have Halloween Party Saturday. We'll be screening the Bill Lee documentary in the near future with the cooperation of Magic Hat. We're premiering our own beer. It's one big party at Thom's. Fun! Fun! Fun!

My, my, my, my music hits me so hard

Makes me say oh my Lord

Thank you for blessing me

With a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet

Feels good when you know you're down

A superbowl homeboy from the Oaktown

And I'm known as such

And this is a beat uh you can't touch
-Stanley Kirk Burrell

Thursday, October 19, 2006

I'm Not A Fan of LaRussa

When last we met, Joe Torre was just about to announce that he was staying on as Manager for the Yankees by royal edict of King George. Of course, we didn't actually hear from Georgie himself; more and more his announcements and pronouncements have been spoken through, well, a spokesmen.

I think the Old Grey Merde just ain't what he used to be. Just this year you could see the previously unseen on the Yankees: Damon and Giambi would go days without shaving. Days! Hair became unkempt. The Yankees increasingly looked less Yankee-like. Yet, Joe Torre retained his job, this despite getting the olde reverse sweep from the upstart Tigers. In fact, in the last 5 years the Yankees have lost three straight games to get knocked out of the playoffs 4 times. The only time they didn't lose 3 straight they got knocked out in the first round. That's incredible. What is it about Torre that he can't stop his team from sliding?

Of course, with Joe back everyone assumes that Slappy has to go. But whither? The radio jocks have jumped on Pinella's signing on with the Cubs and all but shipped A-Rod off to Chicago themselves. But, for him to go that would mean Steinbrenner admitting that he made a mistake. Personally, I hope he stays; it would just be no fun without him.

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice...

I'm sure Theo and Trio are sitting down with the Globe staff to write a new way to get Manny out of towne and replace him with some undervalued, underappreciated superstar like Eric Byrnes. We have no closer, no right-fielder, maybe no left-fielder. What are we left with?

THE WORLD SERIES!

Remember how much fun it was to root against the Cardinals just 2 years ago? Well, you can relive those glory days because the Cardinals are back in the World Series. Come watch Rolen swing and miss as he battles spherophobia (fear of balls). Come watch Suppan stumble around third base. Come watch Edmunds (who hasn't the slightest spherophobia) make the most incredible over the shoulder catch only to hurt his arm and be rendered ineffective at the plate. Come scream "Trotter" at the TVs; scream "Pokey"; scream "Ground ball stabbed by Foulke". Come relive-OK I think I've gone over the deep end.

Just come watch a nice baseball series between the Tigers and the Cardinals starting tonight.

We have Smuttynose Pumpkin on tap and we're 9 days from Next Monday's Clamapalooza.

"...Red Sox fans have longed to hear..."

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Who's To Blame?

The Knights of the Keyboard are on a quest. This time, the goal is to eviscerate the vaunted Yankees, them of 26 rings. Every major and minor scribe in the land suddenly hates the Yankees. (Maybe this is what they meant when they created Yankee Universe.) Listen to the radio and it's more of the same. Every host, every caller wants A-Rod gone, Torre gone, Mussina gone, Johnson gone, Sheffield gone, Giambi gone, Mattingly gone, Cashman, gone. Some even want Jeter gone. Torre would seem to be the first to go, with the reports following Game 4 that Pinella would replace him. But, according to Yankees.com Torre might announce today that he's staying in press conference today at 1 pm.

Of course every one of these lamentations begins with a disclaimer: "I was the first to say Torre was great, but..." And, "Don't get me wrong I love Jeter, but..." The Universe is equivocating a call to arms. They don't know exactly what to do. Their fans are reciting the Tantric mantra "At least we made the playoffs" to deaf ears. The winds are changing; have changed, clear skies ahead. Here are some examples:

Bob Ryan discusses Yankees spending, Boston Globe.

John Harper, Daily News: Yanks' captain abandons ship

Shaun Powell covers many papers' reactions, Newsday, for LA Times

Bob Raissman says Torre should go, Daily News

Home News Tribune, "These Tigers prove it takes more than money"

JIM BAUMBACH says "Coaches back Torre" for Newsday.com

Shaun Powell says "Jeter support has come up short" for News Day

"Taking joy in the Yankees' misery" by Kevin Hench, FOXSports.com

Page 2, ESPN.com


DEREK ROSE, DAILY NEWS: "Yank pinstripes tossed in bargain bin"

Any more good stories? Please add them in the comments section of the blog.

But, what about Thom's? You ask. Trivia returns tonight with our own trivia master John Quinn. Read about his experiences dishing trivia for the BLOHARDS and Red Sox here.

Tomorrow night is Bingo night as is every Wednesday.

Later in the month we'll be premiering our own beer by Harpoon: Thom's Old Ale.

And, on October 30 we'll be having our first annual Clamapalooza during the Patsies Monday Night game. Come in and enjoy Harpoon specials and freshly shucked clams for very cheap. Don't forget to join the Friends of Harpoon for the special.

And after all is said and done

You wouldnĂ‚’t be satisfied with anyone

So when you get rid of me

Who will the next fool be?

Will he believe all those lies?

End up like me, with tears in his eyes?

I know, I know, I know, I know...

(slow fade)

-Charlie Rich

Thursday, October 05, 2006

You Ought To Be In Pictures...

Go to YouTube or click above to see the footage of the NESN piece that aired in Boston a couple weeks ago, all the more reason to be at Thom's every Tuesday night. (As if Trivia with John "The Q" Quinn wasn't enough.)

The Sox have begun the Fall cleaning that usually accompanies a disappointing season. Pitching coach Dave Wallace is gone and hitting coach Ron Jackson got fired when he couldn't get Wily Mo to stop swinging. Trot's probably not coming back and if the Gordon Edes media machine has its way Manny won't be either. (Maybe they can get Buck Showalter to play left field.) Meanwhile, one former sox farm hand after another prospers. Check out the this Globe interview where Theo discusses some of last season's trades.

The good news is that the Patriots are back on track after thumping Cincinnati. Come to Thom's this Sunday and watch the Patsies battle the Dolphins. "Squish the Fish!"

Also, come by Thom's this weekend and check the opening of the second floor.

We'll have all of the baseball playoffs, and college and pro football. We'll even have our own beer made by Harpoon soon.

And, don't forget Clamapalooza at the end of October.

****

"I want to make sure Tom Brady knows that, although I'm no longer with the Red Sox, I'll always be his personal hitting coach and he can come take B.P. with me anytime."
-Ron "Papa Jack" Jackson "A Letter To Boston Fans"

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

A Season in the Sun

The good news is that the Red Sox will be playing in October this year. HAZAR! The bad news is October 1st is their last game. BOOOOOOO! This year sucked eggs. I apologize for the harsh language, but that's just how I feel.

Come out Friday night to wave "goodbye" to the Red Sox. They gave us the Fredo treatment the last 2 months and broke our hearts, but (gulp) there's always next year. Fenway is still packed to the gills and Big Papi is still destroying the Red Sox home run record. He hit number 54 last night and has just 7 more to tie the all time major league record for home runs in a season set by Roger Maris in 1961. Friday might be the night.

So come on out this weekend and see Trotter for possibly the last time. Wave "bye bye" to Manny and maybe even Foulke. Debate over the future of the Red Sox. Who's playing the corner outfield spots next year? Who's closing? (Sorry. Wrong Hanson. There, much better.) Curt Schilling has even hinted that he's thinking about not coming back:


``If I come back next year, I know that the offseason will be the hardest offseason of my career because I'll have to work harder than I've ever worked."
There's a big, scary off-season ahead. At least we know that we have Beckett tied up for another 9 years. (Sorry. Wrong Beckett .)

What do we have to look forward to? Sunday the Patsies get back on track against Cincinnati. And speaking of the Pats, Monday night October 30 the Pats are playing at Minnesota. That night we'll be doing Clamfest at Thom's. Come in and get some clams cheap. Also, if you're a card carrying "Friend of Harpoon" you get a great discount on the beer. So, sign up!

Also ahead:

Look for the debut of Thom's Olde Ale brewed by Harpoon for us.
Also, we'll be hosting a screening of the Bill Lee documentary “SPACEMAN: A Baseball Odyssey”

Before you know it it will be next year.

Goodbye to you, my trusted friend.
We've known each other since we're nine or ten.
Together we climbed hills or trees.
Learned of love and ABC's,
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees.
We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
But the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time.
-Rod McKuen/Jacques Brel

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

This, That, and The Other Thing.

It was the best of times it was the worst of times...

Sunday the Patsies won their second game showcasing a million stars on defense: Harrison, Seau, Bruschi, Vrabel, Wilfork, Colvin, et al, while Tom Brady continued to prove that he don't need no stinkin' wide receivers. He can just throw the ball to running backs and tight ends all day. This week they play on Sunday night against that snake that knocked us out of the playoffs last year: Jake Plummer. This time Denver is at The Razor and you should be at Thom's for $4 Harpoon Octoberfest pints. (Please don't punch holes in the wall if something goes wrong.)

The Sox finally showed some grit this weekend taking 3 of 4 from the "team we don't mention by name" with a bunch of minor leaguers and cast-aways. Torre even brought out A-Rod and Damon to pinch hit in the ninth for no other reason but to extend the inning so Jeter could get one more chance to add to his hitting streak. But, it wasn't meant to be. Timlin shut the door, empowered by his blue Lester bracelet leaving the Captain on deck scratching his intangibles.

And speaking of grit, several Thom's regulars appeared on NESN this weekend talking about the Red Sox and being a fan in NYC. I'm trying to get a copy for screening.

It's been a tough year, but the future is bright. The Portland Seadogs, the Red Sox AA affiliate, won the Eastern League title for the first time, beating Akron in a rematch of last year's championship. Almost 4000 proud Mainers shook the aluminum stands at Hadlock Field then celebrated by breaking tradition and telling everyone asked exactly how to get there from here...

Speaking of kids, come see some of tomorrow's stars today as the Sox take on the Twins tonight. Also tonight at Thom's is Trivia Night. Live from his appearance on NESN dishing trivia to the BLOHARDS it's Q & A with John Quinn. Come in and compete for prizes and pride.

Thanks again to everyone that showed up for the Boston Latin Alumni event last week. And thanks to Seth Mnookin who discussed then signed his book Feeding The Monster on Thursday for a great crowd of Thom's regulars. We still have a few books in the basement at a discounted price. Seth even said he'd come back in to sign a few. So ask at the bar if you want one.

Upcoming Events

Michael "Thundermist" Benoit brought us back a jug of Autocrat from his home in Rhode Island (the biggest little state in the union). So, ask for a coffee milk at the bar and we'll mix you up one.

Monday, October 30, we'll celebrate the Patriots in Monday Night Football with our first Clamapalooza. We'll be shucking top-neck clams during the game at a darn good price and pouring Harpoon Bohemian Pilsener.

Also, we're planning on screening Spaceman: A Baseball Odyssey sometime in the next month. So, don't miss the opportunity to watch this documentary about former Sox hurler Bill Lee and talk with the filmmakers.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

When the moon hits your eye...

The throngs have once again amassed; they scream in unison. They have in common their cause. No, I'm not referring to the arrival of the football season. This event is The Feast of San Gennaro in Little Italy. In case you don't know New York City well, Little Italy is a three block stretch of pasta joints nestled between Chinatown and SoHo. And, every September thousands descend on these streets to attend The Feast of San Gennaro, eat funnel cakes, and drink frozen booze from plastic cups. I'm a big fan of tradition. Yippee!

I moved to New York some 10 years ago during the this time and now I'm perched in my new apartment above the feast; my eyes, and more importantly, my ears on Mulberry Street. They begin to construct the dunk-tanks and pina colada stands at 12 every night and keep me up till 4 am. Amid the contracting chaos there are some very well dressed Italian men collecting what I assume is mail destined for the homeland. They're handed these harmless white envelopes which they measure in their open palms for weight (to estimate postage I assume) then look around before entering their luxury cars and speeding off. It doesn't get better than this. Fuggedaboutit!

Football season is in fact under way. The Patriots won then lost Deion Branch to the Seahawks. We had a great crowd for the game Sunday and promise to have an even better one next week for the Jets. Every Sunday we're raffling off NFL jerseys, so come in and play.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Tonight NESN is coming in to get footage of Kayreoke. So come on down and take the mic and get on air in New England.

Tomorrow night, Wednesday, we're having a Boston Latin alumni happy hour. If you graduated from Latin, come on and mingle. Also, David Ortiz should be going for the Sox home run record. You do not want to miss history.

Thursday night, Seth Mnookin, author of Feeding The Monster, will be reading from his book and signing copies of it. Come meet the author and find out just why the Sox have sucked so bad.

Friday night kicks off another Yankees series. It's not for first place, but it's our chance to uh, uhm, ah...come on in and see the Sox.

YES Network is looking for more fans to compete against their Roadtrippers. If you're interested and available Friday all day. Let me know. You must be athletic.

"Lazy Mary you better get up"
She answered back, "I am not able"
"Lazy Mary you better get up
We need the sheets for the table"
"Lazy Mary you smoke in bed
There's only one man you should marry
My advice to you would be
Is to pay attention to me"
"You better marry a fireman he'll come and go,
Go and come sempr's la pompa a mano tiene
-Lou Monte

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

This is exactly what it's like to be a Sox fan.

They can't just go out with a wimper or a moan like in 2001. No, they have to show us glimpses of what could of been. They get swept by the Royals, then outpitch the White Sox. They should have made Rodney Harrison coach halfway through that Yankee series. Things might have been different. In fact, I put a dramatization of what that might have looked like on the blog. Check it out!

Well, it looks like it's not over yet. Papi still ain't singing. So come on out tonight and watch us go for the sweep against the White Sox. Then it's the Royals and the Orioles. The schedule couldn't be better going into next weekend's Yankee series. If only we...

Are you ready for some football?
The season kicks off Thursday at 8:30 with the Steelers and Dolphins. Get there early for a seat.
Then it's the Patsies Sunday against the Bills at 1:00.

Don't forget next Thursday Seth Mnookin will be signing copies of his best-seller Feeding The Monster at Thoms'.


Says Suldog, "Keep the Faith".

Monday, August 28, 2006

The Beat Goes On...

The slide continues, and the sad thing is that the Yankees keep losing too. The division is ours to be had. Instead, we wallow...

The good news is that New England is fine. I just got back from a 5 state adventure that brought me through Corinth, Vermont, North Woodstock and North Conway, Vermont, Raymond, Portland, and Wells, Maine, Woburn and Boston, Massachusettes, and Darien, Conn. I had fried clams, mahogany clams, and steamers- Plenty of oysters too. I had lobster rolls, lobster bisque, and lobsters. I had Vermont and New Hampshire Maple Syrup.

No one there is panicking, so we have to stay the course. If you have time, try a Geary's Summer Ale. Mmm mmm good.

Come on in tonight for John Quinn's Trivia Night. Match wits with the master and win prizes.
Every Wednesday is Bingo Night. Come in and win shots from Jim.

Thank You to everyone who bought raffle tickets to raise money for the Buddy Walk.
Special thanks to those who donated things to be raffled:

Horton Foote of Tavern on Jane Restaurant
The Boston Red Sox
Jim Rice and Bob Montgomery
Rick Field of Rick's Picks
Colin Reddy (Adam Vinateri football)
Gold's Gym
Beehive Beer Distributers
Alexis Welby and Seth Mnookin (Feeding The Monster)
Andy Wasif (How To Talk To A Yankee Fan)
Marty Katz at SKI Beer

Don't forget, Seth Mnookin, author of "Feeding The Monster" will be at Thom's on September 14.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Mel Gibson Eat Your Brave Heart Out!

First of all , an apology for the barrage of e-mails on behalf of the Empire. (Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa) Thanks to all of you that responded to the YES Network challenge. I hope it goes off without a hitch and we kick their asses. Viewing party next week.

So much news...

Tonight at Thom's earn a degree in elocution. Andy Wasif will be there promoting his new book "How To Talk To A Yankee Fan." (Spoiler Warning: The answer is "Slowly".) He'll also be discussing the sequel he's working on: "Why Would You Want To Talk To A Yankee Fan?" The Sox are off, so there should be plenty of Yankee fans to practice on. Just remember to bring your high horse and the phrase, "Biggest choke ever".

Friday it's on!

The Sox begin their 5 game home series against the enemy with a 1pm game.

Then, at 4 o'clock stay in your seats and root on the kids from Portsmouth, NH as they face dreaded Beaverton, Oregon in Round 1 of the Little League World Series.

At 7 pm we begin again. The Sox face the Yankees in the nightcap of the double header. By then we should be an half game out of first.

At the same time we'll be holding a fundraiser for The Buddy Walk. Raffle tickets will be available throughout the game for $3 each. The prizes include: One month membership to Gold's Gym, A football autographed by Adam Viniateri, Two balls autographed by Jim Rice, Signed copies of Feeding The Monster and How To Talk To A Yankee Fan, A two-pack of pickles from Rick's Picks, Harpoon beer and shirts, and more. Get there early and play often. It's for a good cause.

What's on tap?

This weekend also marks the end of summer, Harpoon Summer, that is. We're down to our last 4 barrels. And when it's gone, that's it till next year. So drink up. On the horizon is a Bohemian Pilsner from Harpoon's 100 barrel series and a wicked good cranberry beer from Unibroue.

When the going gets tough
The tough get going
Tough, tough, huh, huh, huh
When the going gets tough, the tough get ready
Yeah, ooooh, du da do da

I got something to tell you
I got something to say
I'm gonna put this dream in motion
Never let nothing stand in my way
When the going gets tough
The tough get going

The inimitable Billy Ocean

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Can You Feel It Babe?

(Click the title for some serious atmosphere!)

Many thanks to everyone that responded for the YES Network ticket challenge. The winners have already been picked. I wish they needed 50 people, because that's how many responses we got (so far). Stay tuned for details of what's going on. If you're going to be in Boston anyway go root on the Sox fans. We'll set up a viewing party when this airs.

Finally! Football. The Pats start their pre-season Friday night and it's on at Thom's! The news is that Vinatieri didn't really want to come back anyway: "I told my agent , `I don't need to know the day-to-day details. Call me if they offer me something decent.' " That was in 2004 when the Pats franchised him. After that he was a bit peaved. So, no regrets. It's the new Patriots with our kicker old Whatshisname.
For the second straight pre-season Bruschi will not be playing, but Rodney will be there! The game starts at 8.

Feel free to post your comments on our new City Search listing. The best comment will get something free. I'll give you a hint: It's usually cold, pale yellow in color, and rhymes with Zarpoon. Any guesses?
Check out the trailor to the new Boston flick on the blog. It's got Old Man Dunphy, Markie Mark, Will Hunting, the gangs all the there. What a funky bunch.

Morgan: Double Burger. Double Burger.
[singing]
Morgan: Chuck, I had a double burger!

Monday, August 07, 2006

Did you expect it to be easy?

(Please click the title for atmosphere while reading this. If it doesn't work go here.)

This e-mail is designed to cheer you up. So, off we go:

The bartender from Finerty's (the MFY bar next door) came in last night with a bottle of Jaeger to toast the Yankees. He said, "Here's to the Yankees two games lead." I said, "Why don't we drink to their three game lead? We know how that turned out." Hazar! Zing! The bottom line is I left drunk and got in a fight with a cab driver. What are you going to do? Charges pending.

There is so much goodness in this world, where do we start?

Jeter has a new perfume.
If you've ever walked into Yankee Stadium and thought "I wish they could bottle this smell?" you're in luck. Avon's calling with a new (PUN WARNING!) eau de toilet called Drivel. (Thanks to "Thunder Mist" Michael Benoit for the foto.) It's got to be strong. If it can cover up the smell of number 2 then it can cover anything.



Teach The Children Well
Okay, sorry. I know it's getting a bit hackneyed to pick on poor A-rod. So, I've started a support group to help encourage the intellagent people of NYC to get behind the greatest player in the history of life. The goal of Cheer A-rod.com is to spread understandingness for a talented, sensitive man. You'll notice in the gallery and video clips that I've included some of A-rod's greatest moments like dropping F-bombs on that coward Captain Jason Varitek. Please sign the guest book and join the joy party. (WARNING: please wear diapers before you look at this site. You will wet yourself.)

Even Good People Can Have Bad Days
Noted philanthropist, former papal nominee, and all around nice guy Michael Kay hit a bit of a bump in the road last week when he likened his job to slavery and the holocaust. He started his broadcast with perfectly harmless assertion the "Red Sox are done", then proceeded to have a mental melt down. The lesson? Do not bad mouth The Red Sox unless you're a Red Sox fan! Later, Kay found more trouble when the nice assistants at Bellevue had difficulty getting a straight-jacket over his big, stupid head!

The Sports People

Have you ever thought, "Hey I can write like the Sports Guy"? Well think no more! Thanks to the nice people at The Chicago Sports Review you too can columnize with the ferocity of of Darryl Dawkins on a styro-foam backboard during the 2003 Tet Festival. Write your irrelevancies with the same fervor of Bill Simons and post some snippets in the comments section of the Thom's blog. The best one gets beer! Free!

Happenings at Thom's

Tonight, like every Monday night is trivia night. Come on in a test your wits with our resident know-it-all John Quinn.

Tuesday night is Ka(y)reoke night. The Sox are on the road so that means that you get to call the game! Come on in and sign up for an half inning of play-by-play. (Please don't metion slavery or the Holocaust.)

After the game Paul Zunno, guitarist to the late Wilson Picket, will be playing. There's no cover so stick around and catch this amazing show.

Wednesday is Bingo night!

Save the date. On Friday, August 18 we'll be doing a fundraiser for the Buddy Walk. Some of the items available so far are a football signed by Adam Viniateri, a baseball signed by Jim Rice, Feeding The Monster signed by Seth Mnookin, and a month-long membership to Gold's gym. Check out the blog for more details!

(One more Moonshiners song for the road!)

Grab a potato grab four grab 8 no take all of them,

yeah grab a potato fry them boil them and eat them with the shell on.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

No Such Thing As Clutch, My Ass!

I know there are a few people out there that still don't believe in the Patron Saint of Clutch, Big Papi. But, by the end of the year they will convert.

Faith has paid off again and again for followers of the big man with the big grin. Last night was no different. The party at Thom's went on to the wee hours as Sox fans counted ahead to the ninth inning to see where Ortiz would be batting. "If they can get just one on then Papi can come up with two outs and tie it." That idea floated through everyone's head. It wasn't "if" he would get a hit, it was how many runs he would knock in. Then there were two on and one out and up he came. They should have walked him. They should have taken their chances with Manny...

After you're done watching the video of the winning home run 100 times come on in tonight and every Tuesday for the music of Paul Zunno, guitarist to Wilson Picket. The show starts immediately after the Red Sox/Indians game.

Tomorrow night like every Wednesday Night, is Bingo Night with Salty McGuire. The show starts after the Sox/Cleveland game (Lester is pitching).

Looking ahead on the calendar, don't forget that the authors of How How to Talk To A Yankee Fan will be by on Thursday, August 17.

And, on August 18, we'll be having a fundraiser for the Buddy Walk, sponsored by the National Down Syndrome Society. They'll be auctions and specials to raise money for the walk. If you want to donate money or something to be auctioned let me know.

Ok, that's enough jibbering. You can watch the Ortiz homerun again.


"The Mob Goes Wild" by Clutch (Blast Tyrant)

Please allow me to adjust my pants
So that I may dance the good time dance
And put the onlookers and innocent bystanders into a trance

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Proud as a Peacock My Ass!

NBC stands for Not going to Bother to Come, because on Tuesday night when they were supposed to cover Ka(y)reoke, they were not there. But, you were! The night was a hit without them. And what a hit. The Sox clobbered the A's on the way to a 13-5 victory. That's the last time we ever deal with NBC (unless of course they ask again, then we'll consider it). It's no wonder their ratings are so low. We were just trying to help.


Tonight there's another event at Thom's. Atlantis Health Plan is hosting a party from 7-10 with prizes and drink specials. Atlantis' rep Lara says, "The event is great for anyone who is a self-employed or works as an independent contractor." There will especially be all kinds of artists. Marketing materials are welcome.

Go to the blog for a highlight reel of the first half of the Red Sox season.

And now a glance into the future:

Catch Seth Mnookin, author of Feeding the Monster at the Barnes and Nobles in Union Square August 2, at 7 pm "In conversation with Doris Kearns Goodwin with signing to follow". Seth will also be making an appearance at Thom's in September.

Later in August Andy Wasif abd Rick D'Elia , authors of How to Talk to a Yankee Fan will be at Thom's promoting their new book.

If you have something you want to shill let us know.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

A Call to Arms!

Arizona isn't the only state with wild fire.

NBC News is coming into Thom's tonight to document the latest craze spreading in NYC, Ka(y)reoke.

Come on in for the late night A's game and help us drown out those pesky Oakland announcers with your own brand of play-by-play.

Sign up online by e-mailing me or leaving a comment to this post to reserve your place at the podium with Wally. Places are going fast!


BTW Harold Reynolds just got fired from ESPN, so there's a job opening. This could be your audition.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Sign Up!

They asked the pitching to stretch it a little bit. And stretch it they did. Two straight 1-0 games! that was the first time the Sox did that since 1990 and the first time at home since 1916.

Ah 1916, I remember it well.It was a leap year I believe. The whole world was united in a common cause, war. Woodrow Wilson was president. Horton Foote was born. Rasputin died. And the Sox won the title against those pesky Robins from Brooklyn. In Game 2 Ruth pitched 14 innings giving up one run for the win. I knew that Ruth kid would be something someday.

The Sox are going west for a little while, so if you find yourself having trouble sleeping come on in to Thom's for some late night games.

Ok, that's all the good stuff. The bad news is that Jim's letter from the Red Sox still hasn't been returned, so we'll have to come up with something else. Stay tuned for a chance to sign the next thing that goes up on the wall.

Also, as many of you requested, we'll be sending a "get well" card to Gammons. Anyone that has any ideas for what exactly to send e-mail me or put it on the comments page of the blog. I'll make it available to sign at the bar next week.

Memories, pressed between the pages of my mind
Memories, sweetened thru the ages just like wine
Quiet thought come floating down
And settle softly to the ground
Like golden autumn leaves around my feet
I touched them and they burst apart with sweet memories,
Sweet memories
(words & music by bill strange - scott davis)

Monday, July 17, 2006

You Ought to Be in Pictures...

(btw, don't forget that the titles are always clickable. Open it in a new window for atmosphere.)

Look what the cat dragged in:

We did it again. We're hot! Another NY periodical has done a story on Thom's and it features many of our regulars. After reading this piece I just want to rock and roll all night. NY Magazine ran a story today about our Ka(y)reoke Tuesdays along with pictures of no less than 5 Thom's regulars. Now if that ain't something to believe in... If you can't get to the news stand check it out here: NY Mag.

Of course you couldn't write a story on the Sox in New York without the perspective of John Q. Reddsachsphan. You can read Q's take on it here.

And speaking of the Q, every Monday, the Omnipotent One hosts Trivia Night at Professor Thom's. So, if you want action tonight, come on in and have nothing but a good time. The Royals are at Fenway so the Olde Towne team should get back on track. But, lest we get over confident, remember, "every rose has its thorn." Come in and compete for the grand prize (are you ready for this?). You might win big! Two tickets to the hottest show of the year, your favorite band, Poison. That's right. You and a friend could see Poison live August 6. Unskinny Bop Bop!

Let's get this trivia ball rolling. The first person who can name for me two Hall of Fame baseball players born in Woonsocket, Rhode Island will win a pitcher of Harpoon. Hint: They both played for 20 years and managed.

So sit back with an Autocrat and tell me these two sons of "the biggest little state in the union."

Also, don't forget to come by Wednesday for Bingo where Jim will talk dirty to you.

Was it something I said or something I did
Did the words not come out right
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess that's why they say

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does

-Poison

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Stop Thief!


There was a terrible tragedy last weekend! In fact It was so horrible that I can't even bring myself to explain it. Please click here: Terrible Tragedy.

Ok, so that was a dirty trick I had to lessen the blow of the bad news somehow with something so disturbing that you would be immune from anger. I was thinking of you. Really. (Can you believe that Stallone said "Life's not all sunshine and rainbows" in that trailer? Balboa is quoting Old Man Dunphy from "Outside Providence". Christ! If he's quoting Dunphy the movie can't be all that bad. I'm just worried what Bunny Cote is going to think of those boxing gloves.)

The real bad news is that the letter written by the Red Sox to our own Jim McGuire and signed by many of you which was framed and hung at Professor Thom's was stolen from the wall this weekend. (Read more about this at The Mighty Quinn Media Machine.)

If you have any information on who stole it, please don't tell us. Jim's far too pretty to go to jail. If you look on the stage on the back wall you will see a hole where there once was a cherished memory.

(Please click for atmosphere.)

We won't let this get us down though. We will persevere. We've been through tough times before and we will go on. This is a time when we must come together in a show of support. So, come on down to Professor Thom's. Misery loves company. Come share a beer with a fellow sufferer. We'll do our part; we will be showing the Red Sox play the Athletics all weekend! We'll even offer 20 oz Harpoon UFO (hefeweizen) for $5 during the games.

We Shall Overcome!

We are not afraid, we are not afraid

We are not afraid today

Oh deep in my heart, I do believe

That we shall overcome someday

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Internationale

(Please click the title for atmosphere before reading this.)
It's a battle for the ages.
Nation against Nation.
All the world is watching!
And you can too.

Come to Professor Thom's Sunday and see arch nemeses go toe-to-toe.
Yes, it's the US versus Cuba in baseball!

Come out at 2pm and see undefeated Jose Contreras go up against Curt Schilling and your Boston Red Sox. Come mock White Sox fans who have only won a measly ONE World Series since 1917. The Red Sox have won at least 2 since then!

Get there early (1 pm) for the undercard as some bums from New York go against the Devil Rays in Tampa Bay. That's mighty close to Cuba. Those Devil Rays are defending our home turf from Communists! They need our support.

Oh yeah, while the 2004 World Series Champions are taking on the 2005 World Series Champions there'll also be a soccer game. Italy will be taking on France in the battle of the unbathed! The World Cup Final was audaciously scheduled opposite the Sox vs Sox game. You think somebody could have checked?


Well come down and see the circus. Three rings of fun, fun, fun.


Monday night will feature another international event. It's the Home Run derby. Come see the Major League's home run leader David Ortiz take on a bunch of other guys. We'll have specials all night to commemorate the event.


Tuesday night will feature a true international event: The All Star Game. This is the most anticipated...That is the most exciting...The ah, oh come out on a Tuesday and watch a few innings. Papelbon will be there!

Arise ye starvelings from your slumbers
Arise ye criminals of want
For reason in revolt now thundersand at last ends the age of cant.
Now away with all your superstitions
Servile masses arise, arise!
We'll change forthwith the old conditions
And spurn the dust to win the prize.
-Eugene Pottier

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy Birthday America




Ah, July Fourth: The Charles River, Arthur Fiedler, the Hatch Shell, glow-sticks, fireworks, foot races put on by drunken vets at Smith's Playground in Allston , Butchie the drunk in a dunk tank, pony shit everywhere, that bottle rocket Paul Baia hit me with in the eye...

So many memories are tied to Independence Day. Why not tie your memories around an Harpoon at Thom's? What better way to celebrate America's birthday is there than an afternoon at Thom's? Thom's is apple pie.

Come see Germany and Italy face off in the semis of The World Cup.

And, at 4 pm the Sox take on Tampa Bay. On the mound for Tampa is our old friend Casey Fossum. The Sox will be starting Schilling.

Later that night check out this documentary on PBS about the Japanese High School baseball championship. It was made by a couple of Boston boys.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

The Old Grey Mare...

Did a tear come to your eye when he took the mound?
Was it strange to see him in another team's uniform?
Were you conflicted just for a moment?
Did you surprise yourself with a vulnerable moment that led to an uncomfortable embrace by a stranger?

If you're anything like me then the answer to all of the above is "Yes". Because, last night a former Red Sox pitcher and fan favorite took the mound at Fenway Park for the visiting team.

Of course, I'm referring to Darren Oliver. For one glorious year in 2002 Darren Oliver pitched to a spectacular 4 and 5 record with flashes of his brilliant 11 and 11 season in Texas in 2001. I could see the tears in his eyes as he sat in the bullpen receiving a standing ovation from the fans at Fenway as the Mets starter walked to the mound. (I think I just shorted out my tilde key with a salty tear.)

The warmth in the room at Thom's last night was overwhelming as former Sox pitcher after former Sox pitcher came to the mound and got shellacked. 11 in a row baby!

Come out to Thom's tonight for the last game of the Mets series and see hometown boy Tommy Glavine (Billerica) take the mound at Fenway for what will likely be his last time.

We still have some Narragansett swag to give away.














Larry Brown at Thom's?

Ever read a Yankees blog?

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The Long of it...

I still remember the first time I fell in love. It was also, of course, the first time my heart was broken.
I was sitting in Mrs. York's second grade class at the Jackson/Mann School in Allston learning how to spell "kat". Now, I know what you're thinking, but it wasn't Sandra Ng, or Michelle Miller, or Lourdes Oases. Yuck! They were girls. My love was higher, purer.

My brother Tom was home from the minor leagues and came into my class, spoke to Mrs. York briefly, and waited outside for me. Mrs York said, "Christopher, you're mother is very sick and your brother is here to take you home." The tears begin to well when I asked my brother what was wrong. Out of earshot of Mrs. York, he said, "Nothing. I got to tickets to see Pudge." Yipeeee! We jumped on the 57 Kenmore Sq. bus and spent the day at Fenway. "Pudge" was all I could talk about until he was gone two years later. "He plays for a different Sox now", my mother said. But, his number 27 was backwards. He wore 72.
I was confused and sad...

By 1999 I had moved to New York.
My brother Gerry called me asking if I wanted two tickets to the Sox-Yankees game. "Pedro's Pitching", he said. I'd seen Clemens pitch many times but I'd never seen the guy who replaced him. It was September 10, 1999, Randy Johnson's birthday, and Pedro pitched what David Cone and Wells called the best game ever pitched at Yankee Stadium. He struck out 17 batters and faced one over the minimum. I wore no Sox garb and cheered every K with quiet awe. The guys next to me, BC grads, were flummoxed. "You rooting for this guy?" One said. "Man, this is the best game I've ever seen. You have to be impressed." I answered. "No you don't. The Yankees are losing. That's all that matters." I told him I was a baseball fan first and got back, "I'm a Yankees fan first, then baseball. All that matters is that the Yankees win." Some "lady" in the handicap area asked a cop to kick me out. "He's a Red Sox fan." They did. It was the first time I ever got ejected from The Toilet.

It was then I began my mission behind enemy lines.

The Sox swept the series and made the playoffs, only to lose to the Yankees for the pennant. But, it didn't matter much. The future was bright. On the way Pedro turned in another of the greatest pitching performances ever. He threw 6 innings of no-hit relief against the Indians to help win the ALDS. He eventually took us to another two pennant series. We won the World Series. Then he was gone.

Until tonight. Come on down to Thom's and see Pedro's return.
$4 El Presidentes and $3 Narragansett's while supplies last.

Thomers enjoying Narragansett

More Pedro stories: SI, Touching All Bases, The Globe

Is this the end?
Mama told me one day it was gonna happen
But she never told me when.
She told me it would happen when I was much older.
Wish it would've happened then.
-New Edition

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Brotherly Love or Sibling Rivalry?

This is becoming a bit of a rivalry. There's always something going on with these two. It's like the Superbowl all over again, but this time it's at home.

Of course, the duo I'm talking about is Marshmallow Fluff and peanut butter. Or, The Fluffernutter. Marshmallow Fluff was invented in Somerville, Mass in 1917, and moved up the shore to Lynn in 1920 where it's still made to this day. Controversy has surrounded this seemingly wholesome food of late. In March Williams-Sonoma was sued when they attempted to sell a candy which used the Fluff name without permission. And now, a State Senator from Somerville, the birth place of the American Flag and Fluff, is pursuing a bill that would ban the marshmallow cream from school cafeterias. "It's not a wholesome meal", said Senator Jarrett T. Barrios. "I'm not sure we should even be calling it a food." This has prompted a call to arms. Thom's regular, and noted Fluffer, Robert Young had this response: "That's bulls*it!" So, in true revolutionary fashion, New Englanders have stood up to be counted on the side of Fluff. And, due to the efforts of these Sons (and Daughters) of Liberty it would seem his fluff legislation is mired in the marshes. In fact, Sen. Barrios has prompted a counter-movement that is trying to establish the fluffernutter as the State Sandwich of Massachusettes. He should have known better than to mess with Lynn.

If you know a product that is "born and bred" New England, let me know and we'll profile it here.

Alrighty, back to the Red Sox. We host the Phillies this weekend, and the rumor is that they hate Fluff! How dare they? Come on out to Thom's and root against these misfluffists! The truth is that the Phillies are still bitter over the 1915 World Series when we kicked their asses 4 games to 1! (How Ernie Shore dropped that first game I'll never understand.)

Don't forget the Mets go to Fenway next week. Look for Rick's Picks on Tuesday, Pedro on Wednesday, and Narragansett all week long.


"Lynn, Lynn, the city of sin.
It's full of hookers you'd think were men.
Ask for a water, you'll get vodka and gin...
the place is yours for a dollar ten."
-Limerick

Monday, June 19, 2006

The Bats Are Back.

Congratulations to Kim Rossi, the winner of our Harpoon UFO raffle. Kim already took home a UFO glass on Thursday and now has a 12-pack waiting for her at the bar. This promotion isn't ending. Buy a UFO in a 20 oz glass and take the glass home with your second UFO.


The Sox finished a three game sweep of the Braves last night in fantastic fashion. We're in first place. It's good to know that when our pitchers falter the bats will be there to pick them up. We continue our tour of the NL East tonight with a series opener against one of our favorite teams: The Nationals.

Washington (Oops, sorry. Wrong Washington.) But, the Nat's did go "Boom, boom" They had back to back victories as against the Yankees in late innings, including a walk-off homerun against Wang yesterday by Zimmerman. (Oops, again. Wrong Zimmerman. I just can't these links right.)


Come out for our usual specials and give aways. And, stick around after the game tonight for Trivia with our new host John Q. Red Sox fan.
Wednesdays are Bingo nights. Come in and watch the Sox and play Bingo. Now that's America.

As the inter-league goes on, look ahead to the Mets next week. We'll be hosting an event with Rick's Picks.

We are still showing all of the World Cup games, too. So, come sit with Welsh Sox fan and keep him company, please.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Interleague is Nigh.

First of all thanks to everone that came out Tuesday for the Ka(y)reoke play-by-play. It was a great crowd. As annoying as Michael Kay is, the Twins' announcers were worse. At least we can root against Kay. The Twins' guys just put us to sleep, until you took the mike. We had all age groups and all of the sexes covered. We even broadcasted in two languages. And, look for it all in the pages of "New York Magazine" in the next two weeks, thanks to writer CJ Hughs.

Yes another periodical was there to see what we're up to. (Unfortunately, what we're upto is giving up grand slams in the 13th inning.) Christ, it looks like I'm starting to out media whore the media whores! "Savoir faire is everywhere".

The Ka(y)reoke is going to happen every Tuesday that the Sox are on the road. We're even going to start giving prizes to the best duo.

The dreaded Twinkies will be in the rearview mirror soon and the hated Braves will be our first interleague victim. Yes, it's our former nemisis from across Comm. Ave. As many of you know the Braves were the original Boston Red Sox, and haven't stoped teasing us about it since they stopped wearing Red Socks in 1907. Alright, there is no rivalry between these two teams and never was. The closest we came to one was 1948 when the Indians beat the Sox in a playoff game and then Braves in The World Series. How mortifying! Otherwise they have the distinction of having been Ruth's first and last teams. But, come out anyway and root for the Red Sox against the Braves at least as a warm up for the Mets series.

Monday, June 12, 2006

It's a Hit!

Starting this Tuesday we'll be doing Ka(y)reoke play-by-play every Tuesday. Come on in for tomorrow's 8:00 game versus the hated Minnesota Twins!

Harpoon IPA and Summer will be $3 during the game and Harpoon Saison will be $5 while supplies last.

Also, we'll be giving away two 12 packs of Harpoon UFO this week. Just buy a 20 oz of UFO to enter the contest.

Don't forget you can sign up online for the play-by-play.

Again, we are showing all of the World Cup games, just please don't tell Welsh Sox Fan the scores.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Gray skies are gonna to clear up!















What a difference a day makes! The Sox finally remembered how to play baseball and you were there.

Thanks to everyone who came in for the Yankee series. Every night was a success. Unfortunately, the trivia contest scheduled for Wednesday had to be postponed indefinitely. The Red Sox' own trivia master Rod Oreste and former Yankee Bucky Dent supplied us with some of the questions, so we'll get this done in the near future. Stay tuned for more details. And let me know if you want to take part.

Jason Grimsley, I am disappointed. Drugs in baseball? Who knew? But, Peter Gammons said this is the "clean era". What's a boy to think now? I saw a documentary on Tuesday that implicated the Red Sox as being involved in this problem from the outset. In 1974, Pawtucket, Rhode Island (home of the Sox Triple -A affiliate) was a hotbed for illegal activity. The documentary implicated one Stephen "Drugs" Delaney as a known supplier of any and all illegal substances. Delaney met an untimely death later that year in a car accident. But, his legacy lived on. (Alright, I'm obsessed with that movie.)

Two more people walked away with 12-packs of Harpoon IPA last night. There were T-shirts, pitchers, and cases given away all week and it won't stop there. More raffles and beer and food specials to come.

This weekend we're debuting Harpoon Saison. It's a light, high alcohol, summer beer, and there's only one keg. So get it while you can.

It's World Cup time and Thom's will be showing the games. (Download a full program here.) That means for a month or so we're going to have to tolerate people calling soccer "football". So, you might as well drink to justify your confusion. Also, WelshSoxFan is trying to set up a little game of football, ah, soccer, ah the thing where you kick the ball, a lot. If you're interested let him or me know.

Don't forget to vote for your favorite Red Sox in this year's All-Star game.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head


What an horrible week this has been. I mean this turn of events has been disturbing to say the least. I'm not sure this news will ever sit well. Outside Providence has been discontinued on DVD! Stock up now, because soon Tommy the Wire, Dunph, Bunny Cote, and Cavwich will go away.

What won't go away, though, is this indelible image: (indelible image). Sorry, wrong one. this is what I meant (Warning: The following clip contains adult content. This is not for the faint of heart.): Horror. I don't want to hear one more Yankee whiner complain about all of their injuries. There's no way Matsui makes that catch.

But, all is not lost, there are clear skies ahead. There is Curt Schilling, but with the rain out yesterday, we won't be back in first place no matter what happens tonight. There's always Ka(y)reoke (pictured above: Ken and Steve doing play-by-play). Yes, another chance to shut Michael Kay up and take the mike. It was such a hit on Tuesday that it's going to be a regular thing. We don't have to listen to this man. Say "no" to YES. Have no mercy on Murcer. Single out Singleton. Rise to O'Neil. Extinguish Leiter. Take the game back!

Please post your comments on this blog about the Ka(y)reoke.

'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me
-Hal David

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Mea Culpa


That was awful, horrendous, embarassing! We're sorry you had to sit through that: Michael Leggett singing "Massachusetts" by the Bee Gees in an Ethel Merman wig. WOW!

Well, the world didn't come to an end, but it felt like it last night. The Sox stunk it up bad, and Beckett is giving up more home runs than Jenny Piccolo on "Happy Days".

Another huge apology for the technical difficulties of the play-by-play booth (I wish YES would say that once in a while). Hopefully we'll have it worked out for tonight. And, if it doesn't work, we'll just raffle off more pitchers of beer. The sign-up sheet is on the table in the back in front of the World Series Bunting.

Now the good news. The Village Voice loves our burgers! "[M]ay have been the best we'd ever had."
But, they hate our Amaretto Sours: "sweet as a ninth-inning rally"

This is our fourth mention in a New York periodical already. AM New York mentioned us, as did Crains and the New York Post. That's enough print to papier-mache the banana seat on my bike.

Don't forget, tomorrow is the baseball trivia challenge. And stick around after the game for Bingo night and maybe even a visit from our friends at YES network.

We're also going to be introducing a new Harpoon seasonal beer: Saison.

Come on in Sunday to try your luck at Poker.

Three more Yankee games, three more hangovers.

Feel I'm goin' back to Massachusetts

Something's telling me I must go home
And the lights all went down in Massachusetts
The day I left her standing on her own.
-Bee Gees


www.ProfessorThoms.com

...If You Ain't Got That Ring.