Monday, November 30, 2009

Lobsterpalooza!

 

The reporter said, “Bill Belichick was so excited about tonight’s Pats game I saw him *blank*.” (please click for theme music)

I admit it. I’m a “Match Game” junkie. I usually watch two to three episodes every afternoon while feeding the kids.  And, before you say it, I know I’m making them junkies too.  But what can I do?

I guess I’ll focus on some of my other addictions for a while, namely the Pats and shellfish.  Tonight the two combine in an as yet unprecedented performance we like to call Lobsterpalooza. 

Yes, while the Pats are ending the ‘aints lossless season we will be serving up some whole lobster dinners and lobster rolls and raw clams and steamed clams. All of them at very reasonable prices. Wow! Thom Brady and lobster. While supplies last.

The Times-Picayune (I realize that “picayune means small and trivial, but-) has found five reasons the Saints will beat the Pats.  Now, I think the Saints are a terrific team but comparing Belichick’s first four years with the Browns and Payton’s first four with the Saints is hardly strong sports journalism.  History matters little. Where it counts is our lobsters are bigger than their lobsters.

If you find that you’ve eaten too much tonight celebrating the Pats bacchanalian like you were up too late dancing to Al B. Sure at Venus De Milo’s in 1988 then here’s some virtual ipecac to ease the burden on your stomach.  You’re guaranteed to heave.

Woo
Ah, can you feel it, baby
I can
Ooh
Excuse me, do you think that I might be able to touch you
{Who me}

-Albert Joseph Brown III

...If You Ain't Got That Ring.