Friday, November 07, 2008

Officers of Red Sox Nation New York

This will be a bicameral system of government with the lower house made up of the New York Red Sox Meet-up Group of New York and the Senate made up of BLOHARDS.

Official posts are as seriously granted and as follows:

Lt. Guvna of Trivial Things-John Quinn
Minister of Propogander-Paul "Fitzie" Fitzgerald
Chief Consul-David Tice
Ambassador to Westchester-Bob Sullivan
Secretary of Manny Defense-Adam Liscombe
Secretary of the Treasury-Rhonda Zapatka
Consul to China-Michael Liss
Alderman of Tampa Bay Dept. of Rec-John Brooks
Secretary of War and special liason to Kelly's Roastbeef-Matt Schwalb
Councilwoman of Campaign Running-Ruth Montilla
Mayor of Binghamton-Eden Ligas
Cultural Attache' to Bellevue-Chris Campion
Secretary of Treasury-Mike Murphy
Comptroller of Kickbacks (Indicted)Joe Cosgriff
Secretary of Edjumacation-Mel
Monsignor of Faith- Eric Fredrickson
Archivist of Thunder Mist-Michael Benoit
Borough President of Third Base Melinda Richards
Guy of Strong-Dirk Gorman
Secretary of Labor-Dan "The Monster" Sullivan
Ministera di Calzini Rossi Heather Love
Undersecretary of Bullpen Excellence-Karen E. Weeks
Superattendent of Dirty Water-Rob LaRose
Consul to the British Isles (Not including Wales)-Gareth Hill
Emperor of Alcohol- Robert Young
Secretary of Lite Horton Foote
Minister of Minutemen-Matt Raycroft
The Mayor of Albany-Steve Forbes Jr.
Komandant of Yankee fan internment camps-Adam Reichman
Park Ranger-Adam Bachelder
Head of the MPAA-Steven Brandt
Ombudsman of, ahm, Bud-Steven Wright
Grand Moff-Steven Osbourn
Gregorian Knight-Pez
General Consul of Clamcakes-Kim Rossi
King of Sol-Eric Silinish
Commander of Coopers, Princeps of Pickles-Rick Field
Head Cheerleader-Steve Kaczmarczyk
Chief of Chiefs- John Hendrickson
Speaker of the Housewives-Deb Kjeldsen
More to come...

The People Have Spoken! NY RSN Posts Announced.

Friends and Fellow-Citizens:
Called upon to undertake the duties of the first executive office of our [nation], I avail myself of the presence of that portion of my fellow-citizens which is here assembled to express my grateful thanks for the favor with which they have been pleased to look toward me, to declare a sincere consciousness that the task is above my talents, and that I approach it with those anxious and awful presentiments which the greatness of the charge and the weakness of my powers so justly inspire. A rising nation, spread over a wide and fruitful land, traversing all the seas with the rich productions of their industry, engaged in commerce with nations who feel power and forget right, advancing rapidly to destinies beyond the reach of mortal eye--when I contemplate these transcendent objects, and see the honor, the happiness, and the hopes of this beloved [nation] committed to the issue, and the auspices of this day, I shrink from the contemplation, and humble myself before the magnitude of the undertaking.
-Thos. Jefferson

It is time to count the votes. What an historic week it has been. Who could imagine that this would pass: The Red Sox have their first Gold Glove second baseman since 1972 when Doug Griffin won it. Doug couldn’t be reached for comment, but his nephew Peter upon reading the news had this to say: “If by read you mean imagine the naked lady, then yes.” I never thought it would happen in my lifetime. When told of his election Pedroia said, "Shit yeah!" Congratulations Dustin Pedrioer you cocky SOB.

That’s not the only exciting election news to come out of Red Sox Nation this week. The Governor of Red Sox Nation New York Chapter has announced some of the officers for his esteemed administration. This long awaited list of superstars of the Red Sox world behind enemy lines is available here and is by no means complete. If you have a post for yourself, please let it be known and his governorship will consider it seriously.

To celebrate the new positions you find yourselves in there will be a gala ball on the 20th of November at Professor Thom’s hosted by His Worshipfulness himself and sponsored by Harpoon Brewery. Free beer! We’ll be premiering Harpoon Winter Warmer and giving away some shirts and stuff.

The Patsies play this Sunday at 1 pm against the Bills. The AFC East is up for grabs and Matt Cassell is looking better and better despite how many times I say in public that he sucks. Apparently, I was wrong.

Since the Celts and Broons have become so popular we’ve decided to extend the $4 Thom’s Ale from the Red Sox games to these games too. Make sure you order a Bruins Thom’s or a Celtics Thom’s for the special.

Thommies in The News

Congratulations to Bill “The Spaceman” Lee who will be inducted into the Red Sox Hall of Fame tonight at the Marriot Copley. This honor comes almost 40 years after he first put on a Sox uniform. Also being inducted are Mike Greenwell and Mo Vaughn.

Hail to the chief, who in triumph advances,
Honored and bless'd be the evergreen pine!
Long may the tree in his banner that glances,
Flourish, the shelter and grace of our line
-Sir Walter Scott

...If You Ain't Got That Ring.