Thursday, December 18, 2008

Harpoon Premiere and Reindeer

It is supposed to snow like a bastard tomorrow. We might get up to 8 inches! So you know what that means: New York City will be shut down for 2 weeks, one day for the snow and 13 days to complain about it. The headlines will read “Armageddon” and “Global Warming?”. Meanwhile, somewhere in New England your grandmother will plow 14 inches out of her driveway without complaining just to get the new circulars.

Therefore, you should come out tonight and try the new Harpoon Leviathan Baltic Porter and maybe have a few clams to boot. We’ll be giving away holiday packs of Harpoon beer, perfect to take home to the aforementioned grandmother. It’s simple, buy an Harpoon and get a lottery ticket. And, because the first place Bruins are on Thom’s will be $4 during the game.

Need another reason to come out? How about the impeding beer tax? That’s right; the price of beer is going up in NYC if Gov. Patterson has his way. Many creative imbibers have come up with their own forms of civil disobedience. Some sharp-shoers are on their way to the Governor’s office to hurl boots at Patterson in protest. (That might not be the best idea.) While others snuck out to the East River late last night to dump beer into the harbor. At the last minute one of the leaders of the brigade known best to his followers by his nom de guerre Pez, decided that it would be best to drink the beer first then "pour" it into the river. Three protesters were cited for public urination.

The Bruins come to Newark next week to take on the Devils. Drop me a line if you're going to the game Tuesday in new Jersey.

My holiday wish list is a modest one: I hope that Celtics keep winning right through the stupid Lakers on Christmas Day. I hope the Bruins somehow hold onto this pace and remain watchable all year long. I hope the Patsies run the table and make the playoffs. And, I hope all of the ridiculous baseball rumors end and someone signs somebody.

Happy Holidays,

The Guvner.
She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.
-Randy Brooks

Thursday, December 11, 2008

CC, Pick Up That Pen And Talk to Me!

On Monday the New York Yankees asked the city for more money in tax exempt bonds and yesterday, they began to spend it. C.C. “Creamed Corn” Sabathia, last year’s half season Cy Young will be signing the largest contract for a pitcher ever when he agrees to a $161 million deal with the Yankees.
When asked if the timing was right to make such an expensive buy in this down economy Yankees G.M. Brian Cashman answered, “There’s a pitcher that’s been on my mind-all the time: C.C. Sabathia.” The Yankees' G.M.'s fascination with the the porcine pitcher led to a chance meeting this week in Las Vegas when “Creamed Corn” bumped into Cashman in the steam room at the Bellagio. C.C. didn’t recognize the G.M. right away. Said Cashman, “Now he didn’t even know my name, but I think he liked me just the same: C.C. Sabathia.” Cashman was rebuffed at first by the burly hurler, but he pressed on “Ooh give me a chance, give me a sign, I’ll show her anytime, C.C Sabathia oh oh.” Confused at first by the strangely gender-mixed offer the stout starter Sabathia focused on the ridiculous paycheck and relented. “It’s not about the money.” said C.C. “It’s about the 30 burger bag at White Castle.”

Not to be outdone by the Yankees’ celebrity splash, the Mets signed a Putz for their bullpen, again. (I can’t wait for the headlines, oy!)

But, what new for the Olde Towne Team? Feeling like their losing the headlines to their pin-striped rivals the Sox announced that they would go to a bar tonight and reveal a new logo. Wow. Take that Yankees. The Sox now have a pointier “B” and the MVP to boot. When asked why the Red Sox showed no apparent interest in pursuing the corpulent curveballer Sabathia, GM Theo Epstein said, “Oh, if he called me I’d be there, I’d come running anywhere-C.C. Sabathia.” (For real updates check out Bob Lobel's new radio show on Sawxheads.)

And, what does the man on the street think? Paul “Fitzy” Fitzgerald has spent a great deal of his life on the street (tsk tsk). On the signing he commented, “At a little more than half a million a pound that’s some expensive cheese the Yanks just bought.” Good for you, Fitzy.

Well, enough ballyhoo, what about the bar? Tonight the 20-2 Boston Celtics take on the Washington Wizards. We’ve extended our Sox beer special to the Celts and Bruins too.

Next Thursday we’ll be unveiling the newest in the line of Harpoon Leviathan beers: Baltic Porter. This beer is a heavy hitter at 9.5% and won’t last long. Come on in and have it and a few clams. We might even have a few give-aways.

The Rice countdown is on. In his 15th year on the ballot, Jim Rice seems to have his best chance to get accepted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. The results will be announced Jan 12.

Thommies in the News

Check out Thom’s regular and RSN cabinet member Rick Field talking about his pickle with Martha Stewart.




Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss
-Brian Cashman

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Frog that Became a King

As honorary chairman of the welcoming committee, it is my
privilege to extend to you a laurel…and a hardy handshake.
-Howard Johnson




The hardware and titles just keep on coming. No, the Red Sox did not win it all this year. But, they’re giving us plenty in the off season to cheer for. Not only did Dusty win the Gold Glove, Silver Slugger, and the Lucite Lighter, on Tuesday he added to the pile an MVP trophy. What a year it was for a man I refuse to refer to as small out of fear that he will kick my ass.

Dusty is not the only one getting hardware around here. Some 4000 New York Sox fans have been named to the cabinet of His Mighty Munificence The Governor of RSNNY. And, around 8 o'clock they will gather tonight at Thom’s to mingle and share a hot stove and cold drinks and even take some stuff home with them. Not an officer yet? Don’t fret. Just tell us which title you want and His Goobernatorialness will consider it. Just be warned, the following titles are already taken: Secretary of Edjumacation, Monsignor of Faith, Archivist of Thunder Mist, Borough President of Third Base, and Guy of Strong. (Click to see all of the titles.) In honor of these noble posts Harpoon Brewery will be at Thom's promoting their Winter Warmer Ale and giving away stuff (a.k.a. beer).

As a bonus The Boundless Botolphian Governor of RSNNY has convinced the NBA to schedule the 1st place defending champion Boston Celtics against the Detroit Pistons for tonight.




Ode to Dusty
Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of bein' a king
And then became one
Well except for the names and a few other changes
If you talk about me, the story's the same one
-Neil Leslie Diamond

Friday, November 14, 2008

Hot Stove, Cold Beer

"I can and shall yield to no call that does not come from the spontaneous action and free will of the nation at large and void of the slightest agency of my own . . . In no case can I permit myself to be a candidate of any part, or yield myself to any party schemes."



For a moment last night the bar had the fever. You know, that feeling you get watching these New England teams down late, expecting a come back. And, when it happened all erupted. Matt Cassel had trouble connecting all night, but when he did it was a big one to Randy Moss in the corner of the end zone who fought off a bear hug by Ty Law. It was Marc Wilson to Hart Lee Dykes all over again. And like those Patsies of my high school years, it was all for naught. Brett Favre and the Jets screen passed the crap out of us and took first place by a field goal. Luckily, we have a long time to prepare for our next game versus Miami (11/23).

Don’t look now, but the Bruins are becoming the talk of the town. While the Pats were kicking field goals in the first half last night the Bruins were keeping pace with a 6-1 win over the Canadiens breaking a 12 game losing streak versus the Habs.

And, don’t get me started on the Celts. Lots to watch right now. So, we’ve decided to extend the Sox $4 Thom’s special to the Celts and Bruins games. Just make sure you ask your bartender for the special.

And speaking of special…

Inaugural Ball

So you know by now that Red Sox Nation has a Governor or two. But, did you know that it also has an Ambassador to Westchester, a Minister of Propagander, and a Comptroller of Kickbacks (Indicted)? These powerful posts, ignoble men and women one and all, will be feted at Professor Thom’s next Thursday for the gala inaugural ball. What is a gala inaugural ball? It’s basically the official winter gathering to celebrate and complain about the season past and to joke about the name Nick Swisher. For the festivities a winter warmer is in order so what better than Harpoon’s offering, Winter Warmer: hot stove in a bottle.

Harpoon will be on hand giving out cases of beer and t-shirts and other stuff for free. And speaking of Harpoon, next month we’ll be pouring their Baltic Porter along with a few clams in a little night we like to call Clamapalooza. (Details to follow.)


We're having a party,
dancing to the music
played by the D.J.
on the radio
-Sam Cook

Friday, November 07, 2008

Officers of Red Sox Nation New York

This will be a bicameral system of government with the lower house made up of the New York Red Sox Meet-up Group of New York and the Senate made up of BLOHARDS.

Official posts are as seriously granted and as follows:

Lt. Guvna of Trivial Things-John Quinn
Minister of Propogander-Paul "Fitzie" Fitzgerald
Chief Consul-David Tice
Ambassador to Westchester-Bob Sullivan
Secretary of Manny Defense-Adam Liscombe
Secretary of the Treasury-Rhonda Zapatka
Consul to China-Michael Liss
Alderman of Tampa Bay Dept. of Rec-John Brooks
Secretary of War and special liason to Kelly's Roastbeef-Matt Schwalb
Councilwoman of Campaign Running-Ruth Montilla
Mayor of Binghamton-Eden Ligas
Cultural Attache' to Bellevue-Chris Campion
Secretary of Treasury-Mike Murphy
Comptroller of Kickbacks (Indicted)Joe Cosgriff
Secretary of Edjumacation-Mel
Monsignor of Faith- Eric Fredrickson
Archivist of Thunder Mist-Michael Benoit
Borough President of Third Base Melinda Richards
Guy of Strong-Dirk Gorman
Secretary of Labor-Dan "The Monster" Sullivan
Ministera di Calzini Rossi Heather Love
Undersecretary of Bullpen Excellence-Karen E. Weeks
Superattendent of Dirty Water-Rob LaRose
Consul to the British Isles (Not including Wales)-Gareth Hill
Emperor of Alcohol- Robert Young
Secretary of Lite Horton Foote
Minister of Minutemen-Matt Raycroft
The Mayor of Albany-Steve Forbes Jr.
Komandant of Yankee fan internment camps-Adam Reichman
Park Ranger-Adam Bachelder
Head of the MPAA-Steven Brandt
Ombudsman of, ahm, Bud-Steven Wright
Grand Moff-Steven Osbourn
Gregorian Knight-Pez
General Consul of Clamcakes-Kim Rossi
King of Sol-Eric Silinish
Commander of Coopers, Princeps of Pickles-Rick Field
Head Cheerleader-Steve Kaczmarczyk
Chief of Chiefs- John Hendrickson
Speaker of the Housewives-Deb Kjeldsen
More to come...

The People Have Spoken! NY RSN Posts Announced.

Friends and Fellow-Citizens:
Called upon to undertake the duties of the first executive office of our [nation], I avail myself of the presence of that portion of my fellow-citizens which is here assembled to express my grateful thanks for the favor with which they have been pleased to look toward me, to declare a sincere consciousness that the task is above my talents, and that I approach it with those anxious and awful presentiments which the greatness of the charge and the weakness of my powers so justly inspire. A rising nation, spread over a wide and fruitful land, traversing all the seas with the rich productions of their industry, engaged in commerce with nations who feel power and forget right, advancing rapidly to destinies beyond the reach of mortal eye--when I contemplate these transcendent objects, and see the honor, the happiness, and the hopes of this beloved [nation] committed to the issue, and the auspices of this day, I shrink from the contemplation, and humble myself before the magnitude of the undertaking.
-Thos. Jefferson



It is time to count the votes. What an historic week it has been. Who could imagine that this would pass: The Red Sox have their first Gold Glove second baseman since 1972 when Doug Griffin won it. Doug couldn’t be reached for comment, but his nephew Peter upon reading the news had this to say: “If by read you mean imagine the naked lady, then yes.” I never thought it would happen in my lifetime. When told of his election Pedroia said, "Shit yeah!" Congratulations Dustin Pedrioer you cocky SOB.

That’s not the only exciting election news to come out of Red Sox Nation this week. The Governor of Red Sox Nation New York Chapter has announced some of the officers for his esteemed administration. This long awaited list of superstars of the Red Sox world behind enemy lines is available here and is by no means complete. If you have a post for yourself, please let it be known and his governorship will consider it seriously.

To celebrate the new positions you find yourselves in there will be a gala ball on the 20th of November at Professor Thom’s hosted by His Worshipfulness himself and sponsored by Harpoon Brewery. Free beer! We’ll be premiering Harpoon Winter Warmer and giving away some shirts and stuff.

The Patsies play this Sunday at 1 pm against the Bills. The AFC East is up for grabs and Matt Cassell is looking better and better despite how many times I say in public that he sucks. Apparently, I was wrong.

Since the Celts and Broons have become so popular we’ve decided to extend the $4 Thom’s Ale from the Red Sox games to these games too. Make sure you order a Bruins Thom’s or a Celtics Thom’s for the special.

Thommies in The News

Congratulations to Bill “The Spaceman” Lee who will be inducted into the Red Sox Hall of Fame tonight at the Marriot Copley. This honor comes almost 40 years after he first put on a Sox uniform. Also being inducted are Mike Greenwell and Mo Vaughn.


Hail to the chief, who in triumph advances,
Honored and bless'd be the evergreen pine!
Long may the tree in his banner that glances,
Flourish, the shelter and grace of our line
.
-Sir Walter Scott

Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Party’s Over-Cue the Theme from Rocky

Yes, baseball is over again, this time without a World Series Trophy party at Thom’s. There was a celebration, though. Phillies phans philled Prophessor Thom’s last night phor three innings of baseball that phinished with a champagne toast. Congrats Phillies.

Their party later moved up Third Avenue and rested right under my window for the next three hours where one fan refrained, “We are the Champions”, over and over again. His friend’s repeated response was “Yes we are.” The accusation that ice cubes were hurled at them from an 8th story window is thus far unfounded.

Now, to more pressing matters: The real champions, the Boston Celtics that is, came out of the block running on Tuesday night with a 5 point win over the Cavaliers. It took the Green a couple quarters to get it together after a very emotional banner ceremony. But, in the second half they took control. Bob Cousy could not be found for a comment.

The Bruins play tonight.

Sunday night at 8 o’clock the new and improved New England Patriots take on their arch rivals the Indianapolis Colts. Somehow the Matt Cassell led Patsies are tied for first place in the East. This will be a huge test for the banged up defense. I will admit that I thought that the Pats were better off starting Sam Cassell over Matt. In an effort to aid his team Coach Belichek has arranged to have an hour added to Sunday to help his team better prepare.

*****

And finally-not to get all politicky-in a late bid to capture the great state of Massachusettes Mr. Obama has relocated his long lost Aunt to a housing project in Southie. The Obama campaign made the move some 20 years ago in an attempt to plant the seed for his 2008 bid, then someone forgot about her. The response from the McCain campaign was swift. The husband of Sarah Palin said, “Shit, I used to get hammered down Harvard Ave, in the 80’s at Bunratty’s. I might even have a couple kids there. Doesn’t that get us a few electrical votes?”

Trying hard now
it's so hard now
trying hard now

Getting strong now
won't be long now
getting strong now

Gonna fly now
flying high now
gonna fly, fly, fly...

-Ayn Robbins

Thursday, October 09, 2008

They’re Back.

The Sox begin competing for their second straight pennant tonight in Tampa against the Famous Original Rays. Wooooooohoooooo!

Last Friday at Thom’s we had our biggest crowd ever for the Angels game and hope to break that record tonight. Did you know that we are an official watch party? The Sox have made us legitimate. So get there early-like “take off work” early. Make sure you take some pictures or even some video and send them to me and I'll pass them on to the Sox.

Also tonight we will do more give-aways and raffles to raise money for Christine’s chair. In one game last week we raised almost half of our goal of $3000. Raffle tickets will be available at the door and at the bar and tables.

Book Signing

Make sure you stop by Jere Smith’s table Saturday night to talk to him about the book he wrote with his mother Mary-Ann Tirone Smith, “Dirty Water: A Red Sox Mystery”. He’ll be signing and selling copies in the front of Thom’s.

More New Beer

Next Thursday we’ll be having a party to celebrate Harpoon’s Leviathan series. Harpoon has decided to make a line of big beers and we get dibbs. First up: Imperial IPA. It’s a 10% ABV palette chiseler that should make every Harpoon fan happy, very happy.

Thommies in The News

Make sure you catch John Pizzarelli and his wife Jessica Molaskey playing at Café Carlyle through November 1.
I mean surely there's a hurricane due to hit there any day
Won't that close the beaches and the airport?
Or maybe it's still way too hot or did I hear
Somewhere you stopped flyin' into that part of the country?
You can think of somethin' can't ya?
Just talk me out of Tampa
-Joe Nichols

Friday, October 03, 2008

Red Sox Playoffs

Man-nee! Man-nee! Oops, sorry. I just got finished watching last night’s Cubs/Blue-Sox game on DVR. (Who believes in curses?) As the goats of Red Sox past take a 2-0 lead on the road in the NLDS, the Sox try to do the same tonight at Thom’s.


Game 2 starts at 9:30 but I can already hear the chants: “Beat LAA! Beat LAA!” Alright, so no one can really get a handle on what the hell the Los Angeles Angels Angels of Anaheim Angels are called these days, but regardless of their name change the song remains the same. They just can’t beat the Shawmut Peninsula Boston Red Sox of Suffolk County. TBS flashed some gaudy numbers from the history of these two teams competing in the playoffs taking us from the Hendu hop through Millar onto Jacoby. All told the Sox have won 10 straight post-season games against that team with all of the names and look for their 11th tonight.

We had a huge crowd for game one Wednesday on hand to watch Lester dominate the Angels Angels of Anaheim and it promises to be even better tonight. Get there early please, because we do not take reservations.

Tonight and for the next few weeks we will be holding a charity drive to raise money for Christine, a member of Thom’s extended family who is in need of a specially designed chair. Please feel free to donate any amount at the bar or buy raffle tickets to win beer from Harpoon Brewery or T-shirts from Supahfans.

Thommies in The News

Coming October 11th to Thom’s is a book signing from Thom’s regular, ueber-blogger, and author Jere Smith who wrote “Dirty Water: A Red Sox Mystery”. Basketball season is right around the corner. If you want to hit some games in the area check out the specials FreeTicketExchange is offering.

From The Guvna’s Desk

As your newly elected Governor of RSNNY I will certainly need some support. For there is no single area which RSN covers that is so densely populated as ours. As such, it’s more than one man can handle. Therefore, please petition me for a spot in my administration. I will need all roles filled from cabinet members to ombudsmen to felonious mopers. Consider your strengths and apply accordingly. I will be appointing positions in the next few weeks.

Dedicated to LAA fans:



I'm alone
Yeah, I don't know if I can face the night
I'm in tears and the cryin' that I do is for you
I want your love -
Let's break the walls between us
Don't make it tough -
I'll put away my pride
Enough's enough
I've suffered and I've seen the light
- Stephen Victor Tallarico

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Mussina Will Not Get 20 Wins. Pesky. And the Guvna.

Play-Offs! Playoffs. The Sox begin their October ritual next week when they probably take on the Los Angeles Angels Angels in the first round of the PLAYOFFS. But, first they have to settle an old score.

The Yankees come to Boston this weekend giving us one more chance to boo them in the “Kick ‘em When They’re Down” series. The finale-and loudest boos-will be Sunday when Mike “The Muse” Mussina tries to win his 20th game for the first time in his career. You heard it hear first: Jeff Bailey will hit 4 homeruns off of Mussina. and the Sox will win by 37.

Seriously though, the Sox need a big series this weekend to build a bit of momentum for the post-season. I think that’s why they’ve decided-out of the blue-to finally retire the number of the longest standing member of the company, Johnny Pesky.

On Saturday a legend of the Olde Towne team will have his number 6 retired just beyond the pole named for him. Pesky has spent much of the last 66 years working for the Sox in some capacity. And, the teammate that Teddy called “Needle Nose” has been an inspiration the entire time. When the announcement of Saturday’s ceremony reached the current Sox team the reaction was impressive. “We’re going to do it for Johnny” was immediately adopted as the creed that would lead us once again to the promise land and a trophy party at Thom’s. Thank you Needle Nose.

And finally, not to upstage Johnny Pesky, but another New England hero ended his career this week when Troy Brown officially retired from the NFL. In his time with the Pats Brown did absolutely everything he was called on to do and did it well.

More Thom's Foolery
Last night former Sox personality Tina Cervasio had a charity event in midtown where she raised money for Garden of Dreams. If you missed it and still would like to help support the cause click here to donate. Harpoon Brewery will be holding its annual Octoberfests in Boston and Vermont. If you want free tickets we got them behind the bar. Just ask. And, yours truly has been honored by the Red Sox by being named the first NY Governor of RSN. I couldn't have done it without you. Come in Sunday night for a small inaugeral party.

Thommies in the News

Long time Thommy Steph' has a new blog. Check out her reportage about Iraq and Afganistan in "War Zone".

We dare not forget today that we are the heirs of that first revolution...
Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of [the Red Sox].

Thursday, September 11, 2008

“THOSE WERE THE DAZE”

“THOSE WERE THE DAZE”
A HORROR STORY BY CHRIS WERTZ AND ADAM LISCOMBE


INT. DAY. ANY TOWN OF 8 MILLION IN A NORTH AMERICAN COUNTRY NOT NAMED CANADA OR MEXICO.

THE ACTION TAKES PLACE IN A BROADCAST BOOTH AT YOUR RUN OF THE MILL BASEBALL STADIUM FROM THE 70’S.

THE GREY WALLS OF THE MONOLITH ARE HIGHLIGHTED IN MEDICAL-SCRUBS BLUE THE HIGHEST OF WHICH FAILS TO OBSCURE THE URBAN BLIGHT THAT SURROUNDS THE WEALTHY PLAYGROUND WITHIN.

SUZY AND JOHN ARE SPORTSCASTERS OF THE ILK THAT NORMALLY POPULATE THE BOOTH OF A SEQUEL TO A SUCCESSFUL SPORTS FILM. WHEN BOB UECKER REFUSES TO REPRISE HIS ROLE AND DICK BUTKUS IS BUSY, CHARACTERS LIKE THESE USUALLY DRIVE YOUR THUMB TO THE CHANNEL BUTTON ON YOUR REMOTE CONTROL. THEY ARE WRITTEN TO BE FUNNY BUT ONLY ELICIT SHRIEKS WITH THEIR POOR DELIVERY AND THE SHRILL OF THEIR FEIGNED EXCITEMENT.


JOHN
…AND THAT ENDS ANOTHER LACK LUSTER PERFORMANCE BY THE HOME TEAM.

SUZY
THEY JUST DIDN’T HAVE IT ON THE FILED TODAY. IT SEEMS LIKE THEY LACKED SOMETHING.

JOHN
THAT’S RIGHT SUZY. THEY JUST COULD NOT GET THE OLD EVAN ROOTER CRANKING. IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU, YOU CAN NOT PREDICT THIS GAME. YOU CAN TRY AND TRY AND TRY AND STILL GET IT WRONG.

SUZY
I KNOW.

JOHN
TAKE THE YANKEES FOR INSTANCE. IT’S THEIR BIRTH RIGHT TO WIN AND THEY JUST HAVEN’T BEEN GETTING IT DONE LATELY. I BET THERE ARE A LOT OF LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS GOING TO BED UNHAPPY TONIGHT.

SUZY
IT WASN’T ALWAYS LIKE THAT THOUGH.

JOHN
THAT’S RIGHT SUZY, THE NINETIES WERE SOMETHING SPECIAL.

SUZY
THREE STRAIGHT CHAMPIONSHIPS!

JOHN
FOUR OUT OF FIVE.

SUZY
PAUL O’NEIL.

JOHN
DAVID JUSTICE.

SUZY
EL DUQUE’.

JOHN AND SUZY
TINO MARTINEZ!

JOHN
THOSE WERE THE DAYS.


MUSIC CUE: THEME TO “ALL IN THE FAMILY”.



JOHN
BOY, THE WAY SCOTT BROSCIUS PLAYED.

SUZY
ALL THE THROWS THAT KNOBLAUCH MADE.


JOHN AND SUZY DUCK.


JOHN
YANKEE FANS, WE HAD IT MADE.

JOHN AND SUZY
THOSE WERE THE DAYS.

SUZY
AT LEAST YOU KNEW THAT WE WOULD WIN.

JOHN
RIVERA’S WARMING IN THE PEN.

JOHN AND SUZY
MR. WE COULD USE A MAN LIKE ROGER CLEMENS AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN.

JOHN
JETER MADE PLAYS AT THE PLATE.

SUZY
DAVID WELLS WAS OVERWEIGHT.

JOHN AND SUZY
GEE THAT RICK LEDEE RAN GREAT. THOSE WERE THE DAYS.


JOHN’S JOWLS SHAKE VIGOROUSLY AND HIS HEAD VACILLATES AS IF HE’S MIXING PAINT IN HIS MOUTH.


JOHN
THEEEEEEEEEEEE DAYS!

SUZI
OH MY.

JOHN
THAT’S RIGHT SUZI.

FADE OUT ON THE SOUND OF A WRECKING BALL HITTING CONCRETE AND CHEERS FROM A CROWD OF ONLOOKERS.



A New Era! Let's Watch Baseball.

It's time to come to terms with the fact that Matt Cassell will be the Pats' QB for a little while until he stinks bad. Then it will be some kid we expect nothing from and get less. Oh happy day! It could be worse, though. Mike Timlin could be our QB. The Sox blew a big opportunity against the Rays this week at the same time that the Anaheim Angels Angels were clinching their division against the 4th place Yankees. Oh, they celebrated and MLB issued commemorative coins. And, while they were at it, MLB issued coins for the Famous Original Rays, the presumptive champs of the AL East, against whom I've bet against at every chance this year and lost. (I am the Mike Timlin of the betting world-all washed up.)

How about some good news? The Yankees are awful and promise to get worse as long as Hanky Panky is in charge. The Sox are all but in the playoffs and have a pretty good history with the Anaheim Angels Angels. Maybe, we don't want 1st place. Yeah, that's it. We don't want it. So, there. And, the 17 time World Champion Celts are right around the corner. The Sox get one more chance to take first against the F.O. Rays next week, so come out in full force.

Check out our weekly newsletter for details on the monthly Harpoon parties we'll be doing. Next Thursday we'll kick off the season with Harpoon Oktoberfest. There will be give-aways and specials galore.

You want the latest Sox info? Check out SawxHeads.

AGAINST THE DOOR HE LEANS AND STARTS A SCENE
AND HIS TEARS FALL AND BURN THE GARDEN GREEN
AND SO CASSELS MADE OF SAND,
FALL IN THE SEA EVENTUALLY
-JH

Monday, September 08, 2008

"Beer Barrel Poker"

I wrote this a few years ago. I thought it might be appropriate to dig it up now.


"You wanna stahp in here for wan mohre?" Ryan's midwestern vowels at this point of the night were longer than his drunken steps as we hit every bar on the way back from Miller Park Wednesday. "What's in here," I asked. "It's Morahns. It's pritty goood."

I okayed like I had a choice. When the sons of Chief Wisconsin set their minds to a-drinkin' There ain't no sort of sense that can stop them. And, because you're their guest you are obliged to one more than the rest.

Moran's was a typical Irish pub with a small gathering at the bar of assorted locals and invading Yankee fans celebrating their great victory over the Milwaukee Brewers with whom they shared the same record. They brimmed with pride because E-Rod the Great had hit his 400th HR in pin stripes. The two factions associated with the requisite politesse that Colonel Hogan showed Sergeant Schultz in Stalag 13. I entered and my Red Sox jersey stopped all conversation. The Brewer faithful saw me as a liberator: the Simon Bolivahh of the baseball world. But, I was just a humble servant on a mission from Gahd.

I surveyed the scene and approached the nearest gaggle unfettered. "Oh Christ! What are you doing here?" Some guy probably named Vinny cleverly quipped. "I was invited," I said. the first volley missed, or better yet, was deflected by inebriety. Subtle Street was not the route to get to these guys. A couple of local brew-bibers that resembled Rob Deer stood forward to defend the enemy of their enemy. "Can you believe awl of the Yankees fans here? Oh." He asked me with a sarcastic stretch at the "Y" in Yankees. "You're mistaken," I began, "that symbol on their hats isn't for the Yankees." I paused. The MFY turned a collective ear; they belched, and waited. "That's the Chinese character for fourth place." Bullseye! Heads hung and the retreat was sounded.

I threw my arms up and said "thank you."

"Ryan, let's go."
"Why? Let's have wan drink."
"I don't think it's a good idea." I looked around the bar. "Besides, my work here is finished."
"You're right. Let's goh, oh."

We staggered away with a small victory, somewhat saddened for picking on such easy prey. But, that's why I'm here.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Let's go Yankees. Clap. Clap. Clap, clap, clap!
Let's go Yankees. Clap. Clap. Clap, clap, clap!
Let's-oh shit you caught me.

Well, we might as well put our cards on the thing here. The past couple of days I haven't been terribly disappointed that Yankees have been winning. I mean let's face it, as long as the Sox win and the MFY beat the Famous Original Rays, then it's good, right? But, how far do we go? Is it o.k. to root for the Yankees? Their just another team, right? Is it too early?

Alright, stop the hate mail. I understand the vitriol. Trust me, grab an ablutionary beer and at least abstain from rooting for either team; it's a can't lose situation. You'll feel a lot better about yourself when the Sox win the division. Then we'll all meet in the Bronx and cheer the wrecking ball together.

Sunday. Sunday. Sunday.

The Pats are back looking to continue their, ah, regular season winning streak by- ok that doesn't make me feel any better either. In fact, I probably won't feel better until that first Brady-Moss TD. So, come out Sunday and root for the Pats and let's take it seriously this time.

Fenway Park Book
Do you have a great memory of Fenway Park? I've been contacted by a long time baseball writer working on a book about America's favorite ball park. Send me an email, and if it passes muster I'll forward it along. If your story is published, you will be immortal.


Sundays in the snow
Referee's whistle blows
Weekend warriors toe-to-toe
Football.

-James Todd Smith

Friday, August 29, 2008

McCain Picks Gov. Sarah Palin Runningmate



Professor Thom's has just learned from a source (CNN, more specifically, Boston's own John King on CNN) that John McCain has chosen Alaskan first term Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate.



What do we know about her? She played basketball. (above) She's done some interviews. And, she likes moose burgers. I have to admit that I'm not sure what moose burger is slang for, but everyone is saying it.



McCain surprised even Republican insiders with his pick who also do not know what "moose burger" means.


Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Rivalry

Oh boy! Here we go. I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but I can't wait. This is what we all live for. Next week it's the Red Sox versus the Yankees in a battle for, ahm, well, pride? Yeah, that's it, pride.

You'll see all of your favorite players. Red Sox stalwarts like Jed Lowrie, Jason Bay, Kevin Cash, and Paul Byrd. And, don't forget those hated Yankees like Cody Ransom, Jose' Molina, and Edwar Ramirez. They might even mock us by parading pitcher Carl Pavano, a player stolen from us just a few years ago.

All of the stars will be there to-o.k so the rivalry has lost its luster just a tad bit. But, that doesn't mean we need to be any less hateful. Remember these are the Yankees that tear down parks! These are the Yankees that hate pine tar. They might as well hate trees! These are the Yankees that fight Bill Lee. Bill Lee! He hangs out at Thom's. That means they fight you.

So, what are you going to do about these tree hating, park killing, Bill Lee fighters? I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to go to Thom's and drink and yell at the TV. Who wants to join me? The first two games are Tuesday and Wednesday night.

Then on Thursday celebrate the Sox in style at the semi-annual BLOHARDS luncheon.

Yes, the Sox are coming to town, and that must mean that it's time for another BLOHARDS luncheon. This one is at the Yale Club on Wed., August 27th at high noon.

The BLOHARDS are the longest standing Sox group in NYC and past guests have included Roger Clemens, Jonathan Papelbon, and John Quinn. This time the guest list so far includes:

  • WFAN's Ed Randall
  • MSG's (former NESN fave) Tina Cervasio
  • Prof. Thom's Trivia Time-Out with John Quinn
  • Author Nicholas Dawidoff
  • The guy who caught Manny's 500th HR
  • And a Sox player to be named later.

David Aardsma brought his A-game to the April luncheon. Tickets available at http://www.blohards.com/

Thommies in the News

Jazz great and great Thommy John Pizzarelli recently released a Richard Rogers record.

Check out Ken Eng's fascinating film on Japanese high school baseball ""Kokoyakyu". On most PBS stations, the film will be shown on Tuesday, August 26 at 10pm.
Please check your local listings here.


I bet we been together for a million years,
And I bet we’ll be together for a million more.
Oh, It’s like I started breathing on the night we kissed,
And I can’t remember what I ever did before.
What would we do baby, without Us?
-by Jeff Barry & music by Tom Scott

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Another Trophy Party at Thom's

...and you were there and you were there.
The premiere of "Blessed! Still We Believe" went royally with so many of the stars in attendance. Last Thursday we screened the film (oops. sorry, wrong movie. Let's try again.) the film made at Thom's last year during the Red Sox run to the title.

And, if you were there and lucky enough to stick around afterwards you got a special treat. Our buddy, baseball historian Peter Nash, inspired by the trophy party at the end of the movie went to his car and brought out the trophy awarded to the Sox following the 1912 World Series. 1912! He also had the ball from the last out of the last game. The dozen or so people still around from the movie got to pose with and touch the trophy, the second to visit Thom's this year. More to come...

Tonight and Friday while the Sox are raising money for the Jimmy Fund on the air we'll have collection cans sent to us from the Jimmy Fund so you can donate in the bar.

Our buddy Aaron Elstein blew the lid off of the little "clerical error" the Yankees were trying to pull in estimating earnings for the new Yankee Stadium. Check out his article in Crain's and you'll understand why Hanky Panky is already saying "Wait until next year."

And lastly, please do not miss The Alex Minasian Trio at Thom's tonight playing Jazz in the Loft. If you want to sit in, bring your instrument.
Still no results from the RSN Governors election. Stay tuned.

It takes two to make a thing go right
It takes two to make it outta sight
-Lyn Collins

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Politics, Movies, and Goodbyes

We are but one week away from the New York premiere of the movie staring you and your favorite Red Sox bar: "Blessed! Still We Believe 2". That's right. August 7 at 8 o'clock we will be screening the number one Red Sox movie filmed at Professor Thom's (no offense intended to "Impossible to Forget"). more info

IT'S E-LECTION TIME!
Come on, admit it. You've seen it on "The Daily Show". You've heard tell of it at the barber shop. You know that something important is going on. Alright, I'll spell it out for you. The gubernatorial elections for Red Sox Nation are under way. That's right, vote early and often (10 times) for your New York representative and make Professor Thom's the Governor's mansion. Click here for more info on my candidacy.
Here's how it's judged and how I replied:
  • Enthusiasm for The Boston Red Sox coupled with knowledge of the Club's history, values, and current challenges - 25% I think the Sox are pisser and have been forever. It would be a challenge to be more pisserer.
  • Creativity of submission - 25% I wrote it in 64 different crayola crayons. 64!
  • Understanding of social climate of U.S. state of residence - 25% It ain't easy.
  • Number of endorsements received on fan support page - 25% Have I mentioned the beer specials?

Without further ado here's the state of the nation:

Manny rumors continue to swirl as the Sox swoon. In the wake of three straight poor pitching performances by Manny Ramirez it looks like the slugger's tenure in Boston might come to an end sooner than later. The only question that remains is will he go into the Hall of Fame as a Marlin?

Good news from the Celtics' camp: Paul Pierce is the best basketball player in the world according to Paul Pierce: "No creo que Kobe sea el mejor, el mejor soy yo. Hay una línea que separa tener confianza en uno mismo de ser presuntuoso. Yo no traspaso esa línea pero tengo mucha confianza en mí." There you have it.

The Patsies signed Lamont "You big dummy" Jordan out from the nose of Al Davis who only agreed to release Jordan if he didn't sign with the Pats. This is some great news for Pats fans. Jordan was a highly sought after free agent just a couple of years ago. But, can he play corner back?

And the Broons have done diddly-squat for many moons. The good news is they recently signed two minor leaguers! There's always next year.

We belong together
And you that I’m right
Why do you play with my head,
Why do you play with my mind?
...
Maybe I’ll forgive you, hmm
Maybe you’ll try
We should be happy together
Forever, you and i
-Kenneth Edmonds

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Vote for Me- Governor of RSN NY

With much reluctance I have been thrust into the field of potential governors of Red Sox Nation in New York. For this I humbly solicit your support. Please endorse my candidacy here. (If an email is needed please use chris wertz@hotmailDOTcom)

As Governor I will assemble a crackerjack cabinet made up from the leaders of RSN in New York. This position is bigger than one man. It’s a responsibility to be shared by the most talented ex-pats New York City has to offer. Together, we will continue to provide a safe haven for resident and visiting citizens of Red Sox Nation.

I’ve already spearheaded two successful visits by World Series Trophies (2004 and 2007) and I promise to bring the next celebration to the heart of Gotham. In addition, I will use this recognition to organize more charity events important to New Englanders. My goal is that every member of RSN Nation knows that even behind enemy lines in New York City there’s a place to go where everybody knows your name.

I pledge that the music of Jonathan Richman will ring in the streets. That Bill Lee will get sloshed at the bar (again). That Luis Tiant will smoke a cigar on a terrace. That in the land of the East River you will think of Boston first when you think of dirty water.

I pledge to get the 2008 NBA trophy to the bar. I pledge to bring candlepin bowling to NYC! I pledge to bring back Narragansett to Thom's. I pledge clams for everyone (unless you don't like clams). I pledege more Japanese film crews at the bar. In fact I will make any promise you ask if you'll endorse me.


Thank you.

Sincerely,

Chris Wertz, humble servitor

"Blessed! Still We Believe 2" Premiere


Overture, curtain, lights,
This is it, the night of nights
No more rehearsing and nursing our parts
We know every part by heart
Overture, curtain, lights This is it, we'll hit the heights
And oh what heights we'll hit
On with the show this is it

It's here! It's finally here. The premiere of the "Blessed! Still We Believe 2" featuring you and you and you will be at Thom's on August 7th. Portions of this film were shot last year at Thom's during Sox games and particularly the play-offs and the World Series Trophy party. Were you there? Then you're probably in the film. The curtain will go up around 8pm. No not miss this star studded event.

BTW There are 3 new clips from Thom's on the YouTube page.

Around New England

You might not realize it, but there are things happening outside of the demilitarized zone we've carved out of the EastVillage. Let's take a look around the motherland.

In Vermont Little Leaguers from the Connecticut Valley South Little League will be shipping off to Cuba to play against their communist counterparts. This event, unsanctioned by Little League International, will not be a covert military exercise.

In Rhode Island family guys are testing the limits of inebriety. Stanley Kobierowski pushed the needle to red when he blew a 0.49 on his breathlizer last week. 0.50 is dead. Not to shabby. One too many Stellas, Stanley? The best part is he was released. Nice move.

I was driving through Connecticut last week listening to the Yankee game on the radio and I heard this: "Attention Connecticut residents! Do you realize that the Connecticut Lottery Red Sox scratch cards are outselling the Yankee scratch cards. You don't want Connecticut to become a Red Sox state, do you?" In other words, to be a Yankee fan in Connecticut is a gamble.

BREAKING NEWS! Sensibility is back in the Granite State. In an ESPN poll on "Which is the better pair of current sport siblings" for a while it seemed that only Massachusetts-that bastion of ladies' tennis-would get it right. But, here comes New Hampshire! 51% of live-free-or-diers now favor the Williamses over the Mannings. Way to go and just in time for the 200th anniversary of the Flume Gorge. The Old Man in the Mountain is gone, but his spirit lives on.

Maine is so normal it's just hard to find an interesting story. How about this: In Lewiston Maine people are finding pythons over 8 feet. Not bad, huh? A bit humdrum by Maine standards, though. Long time Down Easter Sam McGee when asked about the 9 foot python found under a pick-up truck said, "You're lucky it wasn't a Moose." Indeed Sam, indeed.

And then there's Massachusetts where they're still making it! What to do? The Sox are hosting the Yankees this weekend. Don't have tickets? Come to Thom's. We'll be having fun. Oh, you're down the Cape. Well check out the Woods Hole Film Festival. On Saturday they're screening a film we'll be screening in a few weeks: "Rooters: The Birth of Red Sox Nation".

I've been all around the world, but I love New England best.
I might be prejudiced.
But it's true, I love New England best.
-
Jonathan Richman

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Thank You Thommies

I just wanted to thank everyone that helped make Monday night special for Jerry, Professor Thom's, and all of the baseball fans in attendance.

It was a night long overdue for a legend of Red Sox Nation right here in New York City.

Fitzy
went above and beyond the call of duty as MC for the entire night. Sandy Jordan and Randy Ingram put together a terrific Jazz show. And the mighty Quinn put in some overtime in setting up the items for auction.

We are also much obliged to Andrea and Kim and everyone that helped sell tickets at the door. And, of course everyone that donated so many great things: The Aardsma family, Fred Lynn, the Red Sox, Larry Lucchino, Pat Casale, Joe Cosgriff, the BLOHARDS, ESPN Magazine, Sandy Jordan, Joe Desmond, Joe Castiglione, Dave Lipman, Supahfans, Tavern on Jane, Brett Rapkin, Bombo films, Doug Lipp, Bill Nowlin, Harpoon Brewery, Jere Smith, Boston Latin School, Jim Calhoun, and everyone else that pitched in.

Check out all of the photos Manager Matt took on Flickr. Feel free to add your own.

As a special reward for your generosity I put a few new films on YouTube. Click on the link to the page above or check out the most recent here. And, as an extra special bonus, I convinced the Yankees to sign Richie Sexson. No need to thank me; you deserved it.

The Sox are back on Tonight after what was hardly an All-Star break. The Olde Towne team dominated headlines in New York all week, dominated the roster of the American League team, and even took home MVP. Not too shabby for a vacation. Come see them defend first place this weekend against the Angles.

Thursday Night Movies at Thom's

Look for movie nights at Thom's in the very near future. We'll be screening "Blessed! Still We Believe 2" which was shot at Thom's, "Rooters: The Birth of the Red Sox Nation", and "Crazy Legs Conti: Zen and The Art of Competitive Eating".


WANTED in connection with extreme flattery, whoever is responsible for sending Fred Lynn down to Thom's on Saturday night. Free drinks await you! Lynn amused Sox fans with tales of the 70's and the real difference between home and road uniforms.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Support a Local Legend

Welcome to The event of All-Star Week, "An Eventing for Jerry Casale"

Tonight at 7:00 pm baseball fans will gather at Professor Thom's to honor former Sox Hurler Jerry Casale. The night will be hosted by Paul "Fitzy" Fitzgerald and will feature music by Sandy Jordan and Randy Ingram and hopefully a few surprise guests.

There has been an overwhelming amount of generosity in support of this event (even Castiglione has been mentioning it during Sox broacasts) and I would just like to thank everyone that has helped by either donating their time, talent, or items to be raffled and auctioned.
And, speaking of items, below is a list of everything we have so far. Some of them will be available for raffle, tickets for which will cost $20 for 5. The other items will be available by silent auction. There will be a suggested donation of $20 at the door which includes 5 raffle tickets and one drink.

Brooklyn native Jerry Casale pitched for 5 years in the Major League Baseball having had his most successful year for the Red Sox in 1959 winning 13 games. After baseball, Jerry opened Pino's, a small Italian eatery in midtown Manhattan where an entire wall inside the restaurant was made into a mural of Fenway Park and the Green Monster. Pino's became the place to be for Sox fans either exiled or just visiting enemy territory. Jerry would entertain all patrons with his stories of playing for the Sox and would even play the radio call of his homerun against the Yankees in Fenway Park. In many ways Pino's paved the way for the now rabid following of Sox fans in New York City and the many bars and groups that now serve as their beloved sanctuaries.
Sadly, Jerry recently suffered a stroke. We have learned that due to a lack of sufficient health insurance coverage, Jerry is having great difficulty affording proper medical care. On Monday, July 14, baseball fans in New York City will gather for one special night to honor Jerry for his contributions to Red Sox Nation and what he means to our community, and raise money to help him cover some of his medical expenses.

Some of the items available so far:
  • A sketch of Ted Williams signed by Ted Williams.
  • A plaque of Ted Williams signed by Ted Williams.
  • A bat signed by Carlos Delgado.
  • A Jersey signed by David Aarsdma.
  • A ball signed by Fred Lynn at Professor Thom's.
  • A $200 gift vertificate to Capital Grille.
  • A collection of three Red Sox books donated by Bill Nowlin.
  • 3 DVDs donated by Bombo including: "Still We Beleive", "Still We Believe 2", and "New England Hockey: Life at the Rink".
  • Assorted autographed items from Joe Klecko incuding a football, photos, and a jersey.
  • Two Sox tix: Section 86 RF box seats for Sunday, Aug. 17th vs. Toronto.
  • A trip to Harpoon Brewery's BBQ event on July 26, 27 in Vermont including a package is for two people, one night stay (7/26) Passes to get in for Saturday 7/26 and Sunday 7/27, meal tickets for 2 and 3 beer tickets per person per day.
  • Many great items from Boston Latin School including sweatshirt, mugs, golf gloves, etc.
  • Mike Lowell autographed bat.
  • Josh Beckett autographed baseball.
  • Tavern on Jane: Dinner for 4 up to $200.
  • An autographed poster of Jerry Casale's rookie card.
Excerpt from June 20, 1956, page 25 The Sporting News:

"While Casale is no hitter-for-an-average as a pitcher, he occasionally gets hold of a ball and all but knocks the coveroff it. A 551-foot homer over the center field wall at Seals Stadium recently was the fifth-longest clout on record in the 24-year history of the park."

More Thom's Foolery
WANTED in connection with extreme flattery, whoever is responsible for sending Fred Lynn down to Thom's on Saturday night. Free drinks await you! Lynn amused Sox fans with tales of the 70's and the real difference between home and road uniforms.

A bottle of reds, a bottle of whites
Whatever kind of mood you're in tonight
I'll meet you anytime you want
In our Italian Restaurant.
-William Martin Joel

Thursday, July 03, 2008

The Super Duper Happy Fun Show at Professor Thom's

I miss the Esplanade on the Fourth. After a day of riding mangy ponies and losing foot races to kids who lied about their age at the VFW picnic at Smith's Field in Allston. We'd walk down to the Esplanade to watch the fireworks, listen to Arthur Fiedler conduct the Pops on a little radio, and get yelled at for twirling a glowstick-"Put that god-damned thing down! It'll break open and burn your skin!"-in that order. Fiedler's long gone, and I'm a long way from the Hatch Shell, but I can twirl a glowstick to my heart's content.


Tonight, the number one rated morning show in all of Japan will be broadcasting live from Professor Thom's on NHK. So, if you're not going to the Bronx (and, why would you) please get to the bar early for the two segments at 5:30 and 7. BANZAI!

July 14 Benefit for Jerry Casale

The Evening for Jerry Casale is coming together nicely. So far Boston Latin School has donated a couple boxes of great stuff, Harpoon Brewery is putting together a vacation package to their BBQ event in Vermont (Speaking of which, there are plenty of free passes at the bar.), and the Red Sox have donated a ball signed by Josh Beckett and a bat signed by Mike Lowell! So far so good, right? If you have something you want to add to the night let me know. Also, if you'd like to contribute in another way, like performing or volunteering, drop me a line.

If you're interested in any of the items, you have to show up July 14 to win them.

VOTE VOTE VOTE

The most talented Thommie, John Pizzarelli is competing in ESPN's "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" contest. Vote early and often and get one our own the win.


EAT EAT EAT

The biggest baddest eater at PT's is "Crazy Legs" Conti. We'll be rooting for him Friday the 4th as he competes for the Yellow Mustard Belt at Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. The contest kicks off at noon on Friday and finishes just before the start of the Sox game at 1pm.
And the smell of the smoke and the lay of the land
And the feeling of finding ones heart in ones hand
And the tiny tin voice of the radio band singing
Love must stand
Love forever and ever must stand
All on the fourth of july
On the fourth of july
-James Taylor

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Oh When the Sox...

Here they come again, mmmm-mm-mm. Catch us if you can, mmmm-mm-mm.

Next week the Sox come to town to play 4 games against the third place New York Yankees and with them come the cameras.

NHK (Nippon Hōsō Kyōkai) will be broadcasting LIVE Thursday, July 3 on the most popular morning show in Japan. If you want all of your family and friends back in Japan to see you on TV try to get to the bar early. They'll be shooting at 5:30 and 7:30. There's something about this rivalry that brings out the media.

And, speaking of the rivalry, no one enjoyed beating the Yankees more than Red Sox pitcher and Brooklyn native Jerry Casale. He slugged one of the longest homeruns ever hit at Yankee Stadium and to this day has the Phil Rizzuto play-by-play of the at-bat.

We'll be honoring Jerry at Professor Thom's on July 14 and everyone is invited. After baseball, Jerry opened Pino's, a small Italian eatery in midtown Manhattan where an entire wall inside the restaurant was made into a mural of Fenway Park and the Green Monster. Pino's became the place to be for Sox fans either exiled or just visiting enemy territory.

Sadly, Jerry recently suffered a stroke. On July 14 we will gather for one special night to honor Jerry for his contributions to Red Sox Nation and what he means to our community, and raise money to help him cover some of his medical expenses.

If you want more information or if you have anything you would like to donate to be raffled (gift certificates, dvds, books, etc.) please let me know. There will be a suggested donation at the door.
Catch us if you can
Catch us if you can
Catch us if you can
Catch us if you can
-Dave Clark / Lenny Davidson

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Who Went to The Parade?



Alright, who had the guts to call in to work today to attend the rolling rally in Boston? Everyone claims they're going to go, but as I learned in '86 when everyone bragged that they were going to cut out of school to go see the Celtics at Government Center, there I was alone with Greg Frawley bumming money off me for hot dogs and tonic. I had to go though; I didn't have a choice. My mother actually wrote me a note to get me out early.

I still can't believe that the Celts were underdogs. How the hell did everyone except Brian Scalabrine really think that the Lakers were the better team? All year long the Celts practiced scoring on the tougher defending East teams while they shut down the offenses of the West teams. It was a no-brainer. I just hope that someone out there took my advice and bet with the odds on 6 games (5-1).

But honestly, a lot of the credit needs to go to the faithful at Professor Thom's. Those last few games were the loudest the bar has ever been. "Defense" chants followed every Laker possession while a few choice chants aimed at Kobe filled in the gaps. I don't think they could have done it without you. I put a bunch of the photos from Game 6 on Flickr. Feel free to add you own.

Jerry Casale Benefit

I'll be sending out more details about the benefit for former Sox pitcher Jerry Casale next week. But, as of now put aside July 14th for a terrific party for a great guy at Professor Thom's. The Sox have donated some stuff for auctions and we'll have ticket raffles and some special appearances too.

More Thom's Foolery

Vote now and vote often for Thommy John Pizzarelli's entry in MLB's "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" contest. John's a big time Jazz musician, but a bigger Red Sox fan. (Yes, it's the guy from the Foxwoods commercial.)

I've added another DVD to the Thom's library. "Crazy Legs" Conti is the 11th ranked eater in the world and the only Thommy that has no problem polishing off our nachos. Check out his DVD "Zen and The Art of Competitive Eating" and look for an eating event at Thom's in the near future.
In the DC Area?

Sing with me, sing for the years
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if its just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away
-Aerosmith

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Beat L.A.


It's about this time that someone always asks, "If they lose the championship was it worth it?" Who cares, the Celtics are going to win. Somehow the team with the best record in the NBA, a better record against the West than the East, and the best defense in the league is underdog to Kobe Bryant. You know what that means: Place your bets. Right now the Cetics are getting about 8-1 to beat the Lakers in 5 games and 5-1 to win in 6 games. That's easy green stuff.

If you're coming to Thom's tonight for Game 1 you should get there early for game 3 between the Sox and the Famous Original Tampa Rays. The baseball game was moved up to 6 out of concern for excess traffic in Boston. So, if you come in at 8 looking for a table and they're all gone, don't say I didn't warn you.

Benefits

Mark your calendars now for July 14 when we'll be hosting a benefit for former Sox hurler Jerry Casale. Jerry's had some health problems lately and we're going to pick him up with an evening in his honor with many special guests. Details to follow.

And, if you find yourself in the giving mood help one of our favorite Thommies, Kim reach her most modest goal in her battle against Alzheimer's disease: Click here for more info.

More Thom's Foolery

There are still plenty of free tickets behind the bar for tomorrow's Summer Session at Harpoon Brewery. If you're going to Boston come in and pick some up.


Haven't found that perfect Father's Day gift yet? Check out Andy Wasif's new book Green Monster University. Andy does signings at the bar a couple of times per year.






My Father is the butcher
My Mother cooks the meat
And, I'm the little hot dog
That's runs around the street
-William Ralph Wertz

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Blessed! Still We Believe!


Today is the day that "Blessed! Still We Believe" finally goes on sale everywhere. The extra features on this DVD will have more footage from Thom's than the Shaw's version that's been around for a couple months.


Jon Lester thrilled Sox fans last night by throwing the first no-hitter by a lefty in more than 50 years. To boot, it was the fourth no-hitter caught by Jason Varitek, a new MLB record. It seems like mound celebrations are becoming common place in Red Sox Nation. I for one will never tire of seeing them.


The Celts kick off their final series before the championship at home tonight versus Detroit. Ray Allen needs to score double digits with Pierce so worn out from the Cavs series. Look for Rondo to run Billups who has been nursing a sore hamstring.


More Thom's Foolery

Gino is the not only the dancing machine on the Garden's scoreboard this year he's the burying machine from the Bronx. The man who used voodoo to start Ortiz' current tear now claims that he buried a scorecard from the '04 ALCS under the new toilet. Can you dig it?

Thursday, May 15, 2008

3rd Base Saloon Reopens its Door

McGreevy's is back in Boston. The original sports bar that was home to Boston sports fanciers and cranks more than 100 years ago has reopened its doors, this time on Boylston Street not too far from Fenway.

The 'Nuf Ced behind this version of the saloon is sometime Thom's visitor and baseball historian Peter Nash. Peter made the film "Royal Rooters" last year which will be screened at Thom's soon.
If you find yourself in Boston make sure to try it out at 911 Boylston Street Boston, MA 02115.
For now check it out online:

Monday, May 05, 2008

Night Time is the Wright Time

According to the NY Post Boston's own Stephen Wright dropped by the bar last Saturday to catch the Sox and the Celts.

He said he looked us up on-line. While at the end of the bar he sketched some of the female patrons on the back of menus signing them "You by Me, SW". It was the Wright night to be at the bar as both hometown teams won.
I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, "The whole time." -SW

Friday, May 02, 2008

Sox Take on Team Sponsored by Pizza Shop.

The Sox’ spate of ninth innings wins ended ignominiously last night when Uncle Jed Lowrie forgot to bring a bat to the plate with him.

In case you missed it, the game first ended on a Crisp fly ball to center that was called back due to a BJ Ryan balk. The do-over turned into a two out rally and with a full count Lowrie disappointed all of the inside-out-caps by watching strike three. It wasn’t meant to be.

Your Boston Red Sox will try to avenge last week’s sweep in Tampa against the first place Ray's tonight. The Ray's changed their name this year from the Devil Rays to promote the pizza chain that sponsors them. The Famous Original Tampa Ray's made the move easily from Cental Park softball to MLB baseball.

But, that’s not all. As a bonus you will get Game 6 of the Celtics’ series. The doubters are back in the Celtics’ camp after seeing this series that was supposed to be a bye become competitive. Come out and boo Bibby.

Let’s see. What else is going on? Hmmm.

O Clemens! And you thought your record of 20 strikeouts would stand forever. Little did you know that you would strike out far more times in your retirement. The Daily News has been ripping Roger lately digging up his former lovers like the Yankees dig up Sox jerseys. (BTW, how’s your DL since that little incident, Hanky Panky?)

A third such liaison has come forward today. In case you’re keeping score at home, that’s a 15 year old girl, a mother of 4, and a Detroit stripper. Roger is all over the place just like he was in game 3 of the ’99 ALCS.

Reports have it that friends of Clemens are urging him to drop his defamation suit against Brian McNamee and escape the public eye. But, The Daily News has proven that report false unable to get find anyone claming Fraudger as a friend.

More Thom Foolery

After careful, careful deliberation (the month long variety) I’m a ready to declare a winner of our Red Sox Haiku contest. Our guest judge Hidenori Sekita of NHK chose Michael Liss as his overall favorite. Hide said, “This haiku is very simple and he understands the notion of haiku very well .“

The award for the people’s choice goes to Kristine Zaleskis who received all of the votes. Approbation and gift certificates await you at Professor Thom’s. Congrats.

Winners abound at Thom’s. Aside from the usual trivia night’s etc. we’ll be awarding a prize to the top fund raiser of our AIDS Walk team. Haven't joined up yet? You should.

Here’s a few reasons why from team captain Eden Ligas:

  • You care about the plight of people living with HIV/AIDS
  • You’ll be at Thom’s for the game anyways, might as well make the walk before
  • You love Thom’s Ale
  • Happy hour specials after the walk at Thom’s
  • Michael Kay and Joe Buck won’t be doing the play-by-play
  • You hate Kaczmarczyk!

When the moon hits your eye

Like a big pizza pie

That's Amore

- Harry Warren and Jack Brooks

RIP Buzzie Bavasi 1914-2008

...If You Ain't Got That Ring.