Internationale

(Please click the title for atmosphere before reading this.)

It's a battle for the ages.

Nation against Nation.

All the world is watching!

And you can too.

Come to Professor Thom's Sunday and see arch nemeses go toe-to-toe.

Yes, it's the US versus Cuba in baseball!

Come out at 2pm and see undefeated Jose Contreras go up against Curt Schilling and your Boston Red Sox. Come mock White Sox fans who have only won a measly ONE World Series since 1917. The Red Sox have won at least 2 since then!

Get there early (1 pm) for the undercard as some bums from New York go against the Devil Rays in Tampa Bay. That's mighty close to Cuba. Those Devil Rays are defending our home turf from Communists! They need our support.

Oh yeah, while the 2004 World Series Champions are taking on the 2005 World Series Champions there'll also be a soccer game. Italy will be taking on France in the battle of the unbathed! The World Cup Final was audaciously scheduled opposite the Sox vs Sox game. You think somebody could have checked?

Well come down and see the circus. Three rings of fun, fun, fun.

Monday night will feature another international event. It's the Home Run derby. Come see the Major League's home run leader David Ortiz take on a bunch of other guys. We'll have specials all night to commemorate the event.

Tuesday night will feature a true international event: The All Star Game. This is the most anticipated...That is the most exciting...The ah, oh come out on a Tuesday and watch a few innings. Papelbon will be there!

Arise ye starvelings from your slumbers

Arise ye criminals of want

For reason in revolt now thundersand at last ends the age of cant.

Now away with all your superstitions

Servile masses arise, arise!

We'll change forthwith the old conditions

And spurn the dust to win the prize.

-Eugene Pottier