Thursday, April 16, 2009

Olde Tyme Hockey

Do you know how lucky you are?  Well, do you?  Every few months you get to prepare for some playoffs somewhere.  Right now, you’re getting ready for two. 

Tonight at 7 pm the Broons open up their annual post-season exhibition with the Montreal Canadiens.  These teams do not like each other. RepeatThey do not like each other.  You want old time hockey?  Well, they’re putting on the foil right this very second.  Chara took some HGH last night and now stands 7 feet 16 inches. Lucic kicked puppies all the way home from the gym.  And Tim Thomas (He’s the goalie) caught 16 shells from a 30-06 in his teeth at the Boy Scouts gun range in Mattapan. Yeah, they’re ready.  They had better be because them Canadiens are tough (This one you want to click. Go to 3:30).

And we’re ready too. Harpoon is coming in to give away some of their new UFO Wit. I know. The irony of having anything named “wit” near a hockey game is laughable, but hey, it’s gold. And the Bruins wear gold and it’s a beer and so is a bruin. So, ahm- Oops, I actually just checked and it’s named UFO White. That’s more appropriate for hockey.  All the rest of the Harpoons will be on special too.  See you tonight.

Then Saturday at 12:30 pm it’s the Celts defending their title against the Bulls.  Michael Jordan is not walking through that door. And neither is Kevin Garnett.  Doc Rivers intimated today that Garnett might miss the entire playoffs.  I smell a conspiracy. Does the league want LeBron to win a title so bad that they would go all Tonya Harding on us?  The answer is yes.  That’s alright. We have them right where we want them.  Big Baby has been training just for this moment.  (gulp.) Go Sox!

More Thom’s Foolery

Looking for a home in the tony suburbs surrounding Traverse City Michigan?  Of course you are.  Well, I got the guy for you: Realtor Goes Deep.  While you’re up there try the cherry salsa.

And finally, are you a real fan?  Well, are you punk?  Have you ever done this?  Me neither.  So the next time you got a gripe, don’t complain to your bartender. Go straight to the top.


Saw an eyeball peepin'
Through a smoky cloud behind the green door
When I said "Joe sent me"
Someone laughed out loud behind the green door
All I want to do is join the happy crowd behind the green door

-Jim Lowe

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