Thursday, December 18, 2008

Harpoon Premiere and Reindeer

It is supposed to snow like a bastard tomorrow. We might get up to 8 inches! So you know what that means: New York City will be shut down for 2 weeks, one day for the snow and 13 days to complain about it. The headlines will read “Armageddon” and “Global Warming?”. Meanwhile, somewhere in New England your grandmother will plow 14 inches out of her driveway without complaining just to get the new circulars.

Therefore, you should come out tonight and try the new Harpoon Leviathan Baltic Porter and maybe have a few clams to boot. We’ll be giving away holiday packs of Harpoon beer, perfect to take home to the aforementioned grandmother. It’s simple, buy an Harpoon and get a lottery ticket. And, because the first place Bruins are on Thom’s will be $4 during the game.

Need another reason to come out? How about the impeding beer tax? That’s right; the price of beer is going up in NYC if Gov. Patterson has his way. Many creative imbibers have come up with their own forms of civil disobedience. Some sharp-shoers are on their way to the Governor’s office to hurl boots at Patterson in protest. (That might not be the best idea.) While others snuck out to the East River late last night to dump beer into the harbor. At the last minute one of the leaders of the brigade known best to his followers by his nom de guerre Pez, decided that it would be best to drink the beer first then "pour" it into the river. Three protesters were cited for public urination.

The Bruins come to Newark next week to take on the Devils. Drop me a line if you're going to the game Tuesday in new Jersey.

My holiday wish list is a modest one: I hope that Celtics keep winning right through the stupid Lakers on Christmas Day. I hope the Bruins somehow hold onto this pace and remain watchable all year long. I hope the Patsies run the table and make the playoffs. And, I hope all of the ridiculous baseball rumors end and someone signs somebody.

Happy Holidays,

The Guvner.
She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.
-Randy Brooks


Michael Macomber said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Michael Leggett said...

Wiser To Drink what the State considers to be our intoxicatingly-delicious beverage, made entirely of natural ingredients, such as malt and hops, eliminating the by-products through the use of a toilet(An Actual One), than to consume the poisonous beverage, made by dumping the neurotoxin, aspartame and making a fake beverage, with no nutritive value(Not unlike the '07 and '08 Mets Bullpen):

To Arms!

...If You Ain't Got That Ring.