Night Time is the Wright Time

According to the NY Post Boston's own Stephen Wright dropped by the bar last Saturday to catch the Sox and the Celts.

He said he looked us up on-line. While at the end of the bar he sketched some of the female patrons on the back of menus signing them "You by Me, SW". It was the Wright night to be at the bar as both hometown teams won.

I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, "The whole time." -SW

Sox Take on Team Sponsored by Pizza Shop.

The Sox’ spate of ninth innings wins ended ignominiously last night when Uncle Jed Lowrie forgot to bring a bat to the plate with him.

In case you missed it, the game first ended on a Crisp fly ball to center that was called back due to a BJ Ryan balk. The do-over turned into a two out rally and with a full count Lowrie disappointed all of the inside-out-caps by watching strike three. It wasn’t meant to be.

Your Boston Red Sox will try to avenge last week’s sweep in Tampa against the first place Ray's tonight. The Ray's changed their name this year from the Devil Rays to promote the pizza chain that sponsors them. The Famous Original Tampa Ray's made the move easily from Cental Park softball to MLB baseball.

But, that’s not all. As a bonus you will get Game 6 of the Celtics’ series. The doubters are back in the Celtics’ camp after seeing this series that was supposed to be a bye become competitive. Come out and boo Bibby.

Let’s see. What else is going on? Hmmm.

O Clemens! And you thought your record of 20 strikeouts would stand forever. Little did you know that you would strike out far more times in your retirement. The Daily News has been ripping Roger lately digging up his former lovers like the Yankees dig up Sox jerseys. (BTW, how’s your DL since that little incident, Hanky Panky?)

A third such liaison has come forward today. In case you’re keeping score at home, that’s a 15 year old girl, a mother of 4, and a Detroit stripper. Roger is all over the place just like he was in game 3 of the ’99 ALCS.

Reports have it that friends of Clemens are urging him to drop his defamation suit against Brian McNamee and escape the public eye. But, The Daily News has proven that report false unable to get find anyone claming Fraudger as a friend.

More Thom Foolery

After careful, careful deliberation (the month long variety) I’m a ready to declare a winner of our Red Sox Haiku contest. Our guest judge Hidenori Sekita of NHK chose Michael Liss as his overall favorite. Hide said, “This haiku is very simple and he understands the notion of haiku very well .“

The award for the people’s choice goes to Kristine Zaleskis who received all of the votes. Approbation and gift certificates await you at Professor Thom’s. Congrats.

Winners abound at Thom’s. Aside from the usual trivia night’s etc. we’ll be awarding a prize to the top fund raiser of our AIDS Walk team. Haven't joined up yet? You should.

Here’s a few reasons why from team captain Eden Ligas:

• You care about the plight of people living with HIV/AIDS
• You’ll be at Thom’s for the game anyways, might as well make the walk before
• You love Thom’s Ale
• Happy hour specials after the walk at Thom’s
• Michael Kay and Joe Buck won’t be doing the play-by-play
• You hate Kaczmarczyk!

When the moon hits your eye

Like a big pizza pie

That's Amore

- Harry Warren and Jack Brooks

RIP Buzzie Bavasi 1914-2008

RIP Emil "Buzzie" Bavasi

Sadly, former baseball executive Buzzie Bavasi died yesterday at the age of 93.

I'm happy to have gotten to know Buzzie in the past few months at his home in La Jolla and through e-mails. He was a very generous man with an underappreciated value to baseball. It's a shame that Cooperstown passed him by this year for the hall of fame in favor of Walter O'Malley his sometime boss and often nemesis.

In his last days Buzzie avidly watched three baseball games a day and "four when the Cubs [were] at home." Aside from being passionate about baseball he read on average three books a week.

Buzzie met his wife Evit when he was 13 years old and she was 11. He said, "I saw her skipping across the street with her books under her arm and said, 'Someday I'm going to marry that girl' and I did." They were to celebrate their 68 wedding anniversary this month.

Buzzie told me this joke a few months ago:"One day a baseball player went to heaven. St. Peter asked him at the gates, "What do you want to do?" The baseball player said he wanted to play baseball. So, St. Peter took him to a part of heaven with endless baseball fields and endless baseball players playing the most perfect brand of baseball he had ever seen. In the middle of it was a man orchestrating it all wearing a hat that read W.O'M. The baseball player asked St. Peter, "I don't get it. What is Walter O'Malley doing here? I thought he'd be in the other place. St. Peter answerd, "No, no. That's not Walter O'Malley. That's God. He just thinks he's Walter O'Malley."

Rest in peace Buzzie. You will be missed.

'Eck of a Guy

Professor Thom's was at the center of an affair in Boston last week at Fenway to celebrate the release of "Blessed! Still We Believe 2". We had a great opportunity to whoop it up with former Sox hurler Dennis Eckersley.

The film which features so many Thommies is only available in New England at Shaw's supermarkets. It will be for sale online May 13 and there will be a screening at Thom's May 15.

Can You Dig It?

No tickets for the game tomorrow? Come to Thom’s. Why? Why?

Well, David Laurila will be there signing copies of his book “Interviews From Red Sox Nation” featuring “over 100 interviews with a wide range of people associated with Red Sox baseball past and present.”

And, in case that’s not enough how about the 4th installment in the series we like to call Red Sox/Yankees?

Yes, the ex-con’s shirt has been excavated. Hanky panky went from denial to forking over $50k to dig up the shirt that supposedly didn’t exist. And now the Steinbrainners want Gino from the Bronx (First time long time) to cover their costs.

While they’re at it, why don’t they get Gino to pay for Kei Igawa’s contract or how about Posada’s contract? Maybe Gino could dig up some experience for Ian Kennedy and a haircut for Bruney. So, much for that “Yankee look”. And, since they’re asking the authorities to look into charges against Gino why don’t they look into how an ex-con with mob ties gets hired to an $88/hour job building the new shrine?

Oh, it’s going to be ugly in the Bronx these next two days. The Sox are coming off of two huge 9th inning wins in Cleveland. The only rivalry in baseball is alive and well.

Blessed: Still We Believe 2

Look for a special Thom’s screening of the newest Red Sox film around the 15th of May. This will be the only New York showing of the film featuring so many Thommies.

Following that we’ll be doing a special screening of “Rooters: The Birth of Red Sox Nation” by Peter Nash. Peter is also opening a new Red Sox bar in Boston. If you’re in Boston for the marathon, be sure to stop by.

Don't forget to join Thom's AIDS Walk team.

I can dig it He can dig it
She can dig it We can dig it
They can dig it You can dig it
Ohhhh, let's dig it,
Can you dig it, baby

THE FRIENDS OF DISTINCTION

Thom's Regulars Weigh in on Jinx

The NY Post shot some interviews for NYPOST.COM at Thom's Friday night during the opener of the Yankees series. The subject was the alleged Red Sox shirt buried under the new Yankee Stadium.

As the Yankees go on to doubt the story of the buried jersey the construction worker released photographic evidence of the shirt being buried in concrete. The icing on the cake is the hard-hat embalmer is a Bronx native. Rumors abound as to what else "Gino" the construction worker stored in cement.

Yankees Cursed, or Course.

"You son of a bitch. You moved the cemetery, but you left the bodies, didn't you? You son of a bitch, you left the bodies and you only moved the head stones. You only moved the head stones. Why? Why?-"Poltergeist"

Well, that's it the MFY are finally done and Thom's had a say in it.

HIGH'JINX' HITS YANKEES-NY Post

Today's story in the New York Post details a construction worker from Boston's attempts to screw the Yankees forevermore (or at least for 34 years until they tear down the new hallowed grounds of Yankee stadium). According to The NY Post there is a Red Sox shirt buried in the cement poured in the floor of the visiting clubhouse. They also claimed that the Yankees buried something in tribute to Thurman Munson in the home club house. This begs the question, what else is buried there? I hope we get a clue every year about something else buried.

The Yankees should really take advantage of this situation and start burying anything they're embarrassed by. They could bury Kei Igawa with his contract, and why not Hideki Irabu whlie they're at it. They could bury Brian McNamee and all of the syringes he used on Clemens and Pettitte. They could bury Slappy's Blue Lips and Cap'n's Golden Gloves. I bet they wish they could bury Hank Steinbrenner right now.

While they're down there they should dig up Billy Martin. Maybe he could teach Hank some humility.

Any more ideas?

Make a pile of trunk tires

And burn em all down

Bring a dollar with you baby

In the cold cold groundCold cold ground

-Tom Waits

The Red Sox, The Tigers, and Bruins. Oh My

Red Sox fans, how did you spend the Red Sox home opener? In 2005 I spent it trailed by a camera crew from YES Network! That’s right, the Yankees. It was my job to show 4 MFY fans around the Athens of America. Fear not, it was for a good cause as the footage will show. I made sure they suffered.

This year I took it easy joining the BLOHARDS on their annual pilgrimage to the most beloved ballpark in the country, Fenway. There wasn’t as much pomp and circumstance as the ceremony in 2005, but it was still special. Check out all of the pictures on Flickr and add your own to the pool.

We had a little time before the game so we headed to Shaw’s to pick up a copy of “Blessed: Still We Believe 2”. Look for details about a screening at Thom’s. And, if you can’t get to Shaw’s you can pre-order a copy here.

The Sox play tonight at 7pm against Detroit then host the Yankees this weekend. The crowds at the bar should be great and they’ll be plenty of give-aways.

Lace Up Your Skates!

It’s that annual right of passage that Boston fans for generations have suffered. The time has come again for the Bruins/Canadiens playoff exhibition. Yaaaaaaaay! Yes, each year the Bruins are allowed to play the Montreal Canadiens in as many as 7 games of exhibition hockey before the Canadiens move on to the NHL playoffs and the Bruins players go back to their jobs bagging groceries. The celebrations start tonight at 7 pm.

The BC Eagles face off in the Frozen Four tonight against North Dakota at 6 pm. Then it’s Notre Dame and Michigan at 9 pm. The winners will play Saturday at 7 pm in the national championship. College championship hockey is the best brand of the sport.

Second verse same as the first

I'm Henry the eighth I am

Henry the eighth I am, I am

(Murray/Weston)

2008 Red Sox Ring Ceremony

Blessed: Still We Believe 2

Stop by your local Shaw's tomorrow for a Sox party and pick up your copy of "Blessed: Stil We Believe 2".

Or pre-order on Amazon: Blessed: Still We Believe 2

Goodbye Bob Lobel

Tomorrow, the event you've all been waiting for, "Blessed: Still We Believe 2" will be released in New England Shaw's stores. This is the movie that features scores of Thommies taking you through the 2007 Sox season all the way to the World Series Trophy visit at Thom's. That's right you are all in pictures. But, just because you're big stars doesn't mean you should let it go to your head. You should still come out to Thom's this week and support your teams. You could pre-order it at Amazon, but it will take 6 weeks to get it. So, get to your local Shop Rite.

First, there will be tons of Thommies on hand tonight to watch the UMass Minutemen play at the Madison Square Garden in the National Invitational Tournament Championship against Ohio State. Make no mistake about it; the NIT is the real championship! That other one is for the runners up.

On Saturday the Final Four tips off at 6 pm. And, on Monday it's the lesser of the two college National Championships. (In case you're interested, we will have a sizable crowd and reservations are not taken. So, get there early and take advantage of Happy Hour.)

Then on Tuesday, the day you've all been waiting for, the 2007 World Series Champions get their rings at the home opener against Detroit. I hope you saved a sick day because we will have a very nice crowd at Thom's for this twice in a lifetime affair. The game starts at 2 pm.

Next Thursday, April 10 come out and support the BC Eagles hockey team who returns to the Frozen Four for the third straight year. Face off is at 6 p.m.

And finally, fairwell to Bob Lobel, longtime sports anchor for WBZ who saw his contract bought out by the station yesterday after almost 37 years on the air. My little league field was next to WBZ on Soldier's Field Road and after games we would sneak into their parties and just stare at the people that were on our TV every night: Liz Walker and Jack Williams, meteorologist Bruce Schwoegler and sports anchor Bob Lobel. Much later, in 2003 I ran into Lobel (literally) at Game 1 of the ALCS. He was speeding through the hallway of Yankee Stadium teetering a beer and hotdog loaded cardboard food tray like Abominable when my friend John said, "Hey Bob. Cowboy up." Bob nodded and smiled and Wake mowed down the MFY.

You oughta be in pictures,

You're wonderful to see,

You oughta be in pictures,

Oh what a hit you would be!

Your voice would thrill a nation,

Your face would be adored,

You'd make a great sensation

with wealth and fame your reward.
-Edward Heyman / Dana Suesse

Opening Day All Over Again and Again.

Ok, in case you haven't heard we were packed for the Sox season opener in Japan. At 6 am! Not only were there more than 100 fans, but we had two TV stations, two newspapers, and 1010 WINS doing live radio updates all morning. Thank you everyone for making this event so great and not making me regret getting out of bed at that ungodly hour.

As great as it was, there's more to come. Here's the week ahead:

Friday, the best record in the NBA hosts the best record in the West when the Celtics take on the Hornets at 7:30 p.m. This week the Celts blew out Phoenix avenging an earlier west coast loss to the Suns. Now, they hope to do the same to New Orleans a team that beat them recently despite an all-star performance from Rondo. We've had some great Celtics crowds lately as we get closer to the post-season.

Saturday the Sox play in what should be the biggest baseball game in the history of the universe when they do battle with the L.A. Dodgers at the L.A. Memorial Coliseum. If you're not lucky enough to be one of the 115,000 in attendance, the game for you, of course, will be om at Thom's at 10:10 p.m.

Sunday night is the first regular season game not in Japan pitting the Washington Nationals against the Boston Braves (Sorry, I still can't give it up. They played in Allston for crying out loud!)

Monday, some other teams play in the official Opening Day.

Then Tuesday, The Sox are back for the A's official home opener in America at 10:05 p.m.

More Thom's Foolery

Don't forget that we have a little haiku contest going on. Be sure to look below to see all of the entries and tell me which you think is the best. he winner will be announced some time next week.

In honor of the pilgrimage so many of the faithful are making to the Coliseum (Send pictures. I'll post them.):

Well, I'm goin' out west where I belong

Where the days are short and the nights are long

Where they walk and I'll walk

They twist and I'll twist

They shimmy and I'll shimmy

They fly and I'll fly

Well they're out there a'havin' fun

In that warm California sun.

-Henry Glover and Morris Levy

Red Sox Haiku

Here are all of the

Submissions for the contest.

Help pick a winner!

-P. Thom

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Baseball before dawn

Daisuke on familiar mound

Kirin for breakfast

Konichiwa, how

Say "Manny being Manny"

In Japanese? Hai!

All eyes on Edo

New season rises with sun

World Champs now play World

-Michael Liss

I think that's awesome

for Thom's to open early

Will Sonny's as well?

-Andrew Wasif

I

The alarm clock rings

It's 6 and the Sox are on

Praise f*cking Jesus

II
The alarm clock rings

It's 6 and the Sox are on

Please pass the sake

-Bryan Joiner

I

Sox Rub Sleep From Eyes

Sun Rises Over Fuji

A Blast From Papi!

II

Champions Head East

To Land Of The Rising Sun

Baseballs Strike Bamboo
-Jason Stevens

Matsuzaka is

Our Daniel-san. Is Oakland

Our Cobra-Kai? No!

-Kristine Zaleskis

I

Dice-K takes the mound

The hero of two nations

Play besuboru!
II

Red Sox in Japan

Better than Bad News Bears 3

Papi skunks Kelly

III
Manny be Manny

In a strange and far-off land

Domo Mannysan
IV

Red Sox dawn rising

Awake! Awake! all ye fans

It's time to defend
-Matt Fortnow

Tiny dark-eyed girl sees hero on mound
In a new Boston cap, she is beaming
Tokyo's dusk is again her hero's

-Rhonda Zapatka

Predawn East Coast beer

Rabid chants: "FucK KaczmarczyK"

DaisuKe's mullet striKes

-Jules Verdone

I

Cherry blossoms burst
Fields run red and white with...Sox
Marry me Lowell

II
Overflowing eggs

Family gathered at Thoms

Alas, I slumber

-Melinda Richards

Early east-coast sun

Bring Red Sox game from Japan

Let's watch at Prof. Thoms

-Giack Selloni

Defending champions

won't condone shenanigans

from greedy bastards.

-Rob LaRose

Red Sox charter jet

Soars agleam thru the twilight,

Like Papi’s big fly.

-Peter M. Collery

Yes We're Open

Opening Day is nigh and for some reason I'm still getting tons of e-mails and phone calls asking if we'll be open for the 6 am games. The answer, of course, is a resounding "yes". Don't believe me? Well read this: We're open proof. See. I told you so. They'll be even more media there representing both New York and Japan. So, come on in for eggs and keggs.

プレイボール!

Contest Time!
Whoever sends me the best Haiku appropriate to the Sox trip to Japan will win a special prize.

You've got to get up
You've got to get up
You've got to get up this morning
You've got to get up
You've got to get up
Get up with the bugler's call
The major told the captain
The captain told the sergeant
The sergeant told the bugler
The bugler told them all

Land of the Rising Sun and Sinking Fastball.

SANPU (1647-1732)
First cherry blossoms,

a cuckoo, the moon and snow:

another year closes

Closes? That's right winter is ovah! Are you ready for some besubaru? Well, BANZAI! プレイボール!

The Sox kick off their adventure in Edo tonight in the first of two exhibitions against Japanese clubs before they go for the real thing on Tuesday. The great news is that opening day against the A's is at 6 am! I told you that we would be showing all of the games. (Of course, since the bar isn't legally open, this will be a private party and you are invited.)

Phew. Finally, baseball before work. There's nothing worse than going to the grind sober and baseball-free. Well, no more. Why didn't they think of this before? Next Tuesday and Wednesday the World Champion Sox will be on at Thom's once again. Get there early for a seat. What's early? If you ask nicely we'll lock you in the night before.

In honor of the Samurai Sox we will be serving kobe beef hot dogs on special all weekend in addition to Smuttynose Hanami Ale. Smuttynose, a New England brewer, named this beer in honor of the Japanese tradition of cherry blossom viewing in Japan. So, obviously, we're into it. (Here's a quick Japanese lesson.)

Contest Time!

Whoever sends me the best Haiku appropriate to the Sox trip to Japan will win a special prize.

I know. I know. It's tournament time, March Madness. Yeah, and the Celts are kicking some serious butt. But, I can't help but get giddy about the return of the cherry blossoms-I mean baseball. I'll see you Tuesday morning.

Cherry blossoms are blooming;

Pink, sweet, and fragrant;

They grow high around the temple wall.

Lisa Renee.

Vintage Red Sox

There's no whining in baseball. Sour grapes? The Red Sox defy all saws and sayings by winning and wining.

Charity Wines has announced that they will be releasing three more wines named for Red Sox tipplers. And, they're holding off production on a fourth until Bartolo Colon makes the team.

Also in the works is a Dustin Pe-Drysack Sherry, a Bruins Bordeux Vintage 1972, a Pokey Riesling, a Brian Daubach 30-pack, and a non-alcoholic Raspberry-Lime Rickey Henderson (Rickey don't drink alcohol.)

NCAA

The tournaments leading up to the tournament are in full swing with many of Thom's favorite teams being beaten last night. We will have all of the games on this weekend and, of course, next week when the tournament begins.

Thommies Trying to Make the News

Support our team. There are about one million filmmakers that hang out at Thom's and some of them need your help.

Evan is used to winning. He won a beautiful Narragansett tie at an event we had last year. So, help him win again: Vote for the Sox-inspired "Pound" on YouTube for a short film award.

You helped these guys make the top 20 for Super-chef Anthony Bourdain's contest. Now put them over the top and bring the Super-chef to Beantown. Vote for "Here is Boston".

Red, red wine

Stay close to me

Don't let me be alone

Its tearing apart

My blue, blue heart

-Neil Leslie Diamond

Dugout Doug, No More

The Boston Red Sox announced today that the most famous back-up catcher in baseball, Doug Mirabelli, was released. This is not the first time that Doug has left the Sox. In 2005 Boston traded Mirabelli to the Padres for Mark Loretta. Then, frustrated by the catching of Josh Bard, they traded Bard, Cla Meredith, and $100K to the Padres to get Mirabelli back. Doug was escorted by the Boston police from the airport to Fenway Park in time for Wakefield's next start.

Thom's has a soft spot for Mirabelli who once shared an episode of "Red Sox Stories" with the catcher. In the show hosted by Tom Catlin and Colleen Reilly, Thom's was depicted as a haven for Sox fans in New York City.

Bye bye Dougie, for now. No more going deep.

Thom's Baby Thom's

What is wrong with me that I watch "Gone Baby Gone" and actually miss home? It's a violent, disturbing movie that is set in an ugly, ugly place. That being said, I couldn't help but feel a bit of heimatweh. It's probably the first film to represent Boston with some honesty since that scene on the Charles in the snow in "The Last Detail" or the street hockey scene in "Monument Ave." or the whole "The Friends of Eddie Coyle".

So, for the next couple weeks I'll be posting on the blog some nostalgic YouTube clips that I remember growing up in the Athens of America. ("I can walk like a penguin.") If anyone out there has a suggestion or some 8 mm film of me bowling at Sammy White's drop me a line. (Check out my YouTube page for more clips.)

During the whole film, instead of paying attention to important plot lines, I watched Casey Affleck's Celtics jacket and couldn't help but think I was missing the Boston/Detroit game?

No matter what the Celtics do they still don't get the respect they deserve. When they beat ALL of the teams in the West without losing a game I heard, "Well, what would happen in a 7 game series?" After last night's win against Detroit I heard on ESPN, "Well the Celtics shouldn't have shown the Pistons what they're capable of. Now the Pistons will adjust come playoff time." What? All they do is win. They clinched the playoffs quicker than the Pats did- Ok, bad example. I won't do that again. I promise. It's that damn movie that put me a bit off-kilter. I've been having flashbacks of Hano Street all day.

Need a pick-me-up now? How about this: The Sox are on ESPN at 1pm today. They're playing the Dodgers. You know, Nomar, Lowe, Torre, those Dodgers. Time for a liquid lunch!

Shipping Off to Boston?

If you're going to Boston this weekend stop by the bar first. We have free passes to Harpoon's St. Patrick's Day parties this weekend. They're behind the bar.

a pedestrian foot bridge covers turnpike

I read all of the spray paint from my bike

down the slope, look left and right

I once fell down and almost died

but I've taken hits to the head before

and always made it back to my front door

"All Hands On Hano Street" by The Stairs

Play Ball

It's finally here! The day you've all been waiting for! That's right, it's Sadie Hawkins Day! Come on, I know you 3 or 4 die-hard Li'l Abner fans have been waiting for this day all year when "the homeliest gal in all them hills" comes a-courtin'. Well, leave a note on your door so when she does come she'll be able to find you at Professor Thom's watching the Red Sox spring opener!

Oh yeah, the Sox are on tonight against the Twins. It's time to play the music. It's time to light the lights. It's time to get things started (Why don't we get things started.).

What do we have going on? I'll tell you. Let's start with a special on Thom's Ale by Harpoon: $3 during the game.

And, in honor of this year's induction of Thom's regular, former Sox pitcher, and Yankee killer Bill Lee into the Red Sox Hall of Fame we'll do the Spaceman on special too. $12 Spaceman Ale Pitchers at the tables. during the game.

What else? Any leaplings out there? If so, your first drink is on us. (Note: if you are a true leapling you're probably only 6 or 7 years old and therefore will not be able to drink. Wait another 75 years until you're 21, kid.)

Let's check today's birthdays:
Actor Alex Rocco is 18.
Actor Dennis Farina is 16
Rapper Ja Rule is 8

And, to give it that old Thom's twist how about a regional delicacy? We'll be featuring Rhode Island style calamari battered in Harpoon IPA.

Happy spring every one.

Muppets: And now let's get things started

Audience: Why don't you get things started

Kermit: It's time to get things started

Muppets: on the most sensational inspirational celebrational Muppetational

This is what we call the Muppet Show!

(Gonzo blows his trumpet)

I'm Still a Sailor Peg.

In just one week we're shipping off to Hammond Stadium, spring home of the Twins. Ok, maybe that doesn't have a great ring to it, but it's the spring, we're still working out some kinks.

Next Friday the 2008 spring training season commences when the Sox take on the Minnesota Twins in sunny Florida. I know a bunch of you are going south for some games so send me your photos and I'll post them on the blog. If you can't be at the game be at Thom's. We'll be showing all the spring training games they allow us to show including the March 17 game against the Yankees.

Manager Terry Francona has said that the approach to each spring training game will be to focus on a different, important skill. On March 17, for instance, the entire team will practice hitting it at the shortstop. And on the 7th when they play Baltimore in Fort Lauderdale they will practice not going to Jose' Canseco's house for a barbecue. Special fielding advisor, Bernie the attorney will be on hand to help the players field uncomfortable questions after the game.

For the spring opener we will have some specials including but not limited to: Harpoon beer (yum), and Rhode Island style calamari battered in Harpoon beer (yum), and give-aways featuring Harpoon beer (yum).

The Green Team

As suspected the first half of the season was absolutely meaningless. Sure, the Celts dominated, but all of their competition has gotten better since then. After going 16-0 in the first half against the West they are now 0-2 in the second half. Tonight, the play the newly Shaqified Suns. This game is huge for the Celts to show they can win number 17. Looking ahead the Celts return to NYC on April 14th. There might be a couple tickets left.

More Thom's Foolery

The advanced word on "Blessed: Still We Believe II" is the gang at Thom's dominates the film! You guys rock. It starts out with some Ka(y)reoke footage from early in the season and finishes with the trophy party we had a couple months ago. In all, some 50 Thom's regulars appear on screen. Look for the DVD to hit stores on April 4th.

I am blessed, with my attorney Bernie

I'm impressed, with the way he runs the store

He's got Dodger season boxes

and an office full of foxes

It's amazing all the different things

your average guy might need a lawyer for.

-Dave Frishberg