Can You Feel It Babe?

(Click the title for some serious atmosphere!)

Many thanks to everyone that responded for the YES Network ticket challenge. The winners have already been picked. I wish they needed 50 people, because that's how many responses we got (so far). Stay tuned for details of what's going on. If you're going to be in Boston anyway go root on the Sox fans. We'll set up a viewing party when this airs.

Finally! Football. The Pats start their pre-season Friday night and it's on at Thom's! The news is that Vinatieri didn't really want to come back anyway: "I told my agent , `I don't need to know the day-to-day details. Call me if they offer me something decent.' " That was in 2004 when the Pats franchised him. After that he was a bit peaved. So, no regrets. It's the new Patriots with our kicker old Whatshisname.
For the second straight pre-season Bruschi will not be playing, but Rodney will be there! The game starts at 8.

Feel free to post your comments on our new City Search listing. The best comment will get something free. I'll give you a hint: It's usually cold, pale yellow in color, and rhymes with Zarpoon. Any guesses?
Check out the trailor to the new Boston flick on the blog. It's got Old Man Dunphy, Markie Mark, Will Hunting, the gangs all the there. What a funky bunch.

Morgan: Double Burger. Double Burger.
[singing]
Morgan: Chuck, I had a double burger!

Did you expect it to be easy?

(Please click the title for atmosphere while reading this. If it doesn't work go here.)

This e-mail is designed to cheer you up. So, off we go:

The bartender from Finerty's (the MFY bar next door) came in last night with a bottle of Jaeger to toast the Yankees. He said, "Here's to the Yankees two games lead." I said, "Why don't we drink to their three game lead? We know how that turned out." Hazar! Zing! The bottom line is I left drunk and got in a fight with a cab driver. What are you going to do? Charges pending.

There is so much goodness in this world, where do we start?

Jeter has a new perfume.
If you've ever walked into Yankee Stadium and thought "I wish they could bottle this smell?" you're in luck. Avon's calling with a new (PUN WARNING!) eau de toilet called Drivel. (Thanks to "Thunder Mist" Michael Benoit for the foto.) It's got to be strong. If it can cover up the smell of number 2 then it can cover anything.



Teach The Children Well
Okay, sorry. I know it's getting a bit hackneyed to pick on poor A-rod. So, I've started a support group to help encourage the intellagent people of NYC to get behind the greatest player in the history of life. The goal of Cheer A-rod.com is to spread understandingness for a talented, sensitive man. You'll notice in the gallery and video clips that I've included some of A-rod's greatest moments like dropping F-bombs on that coward Captain Jason Varitek. Please sign the guest book and join the joy party. (WARNING: please wear diapers before you look at this site. You will wet yourself.)

Even Good People Can Have Bad Days
Noted philanthropist, former papal nominee, and all around nice guy Michael Kay hit a bit of a bump in the road last week when he likened his job to slavery and the holocaust. He started his broadcast with perfectly harmless assertion the "Red Sox are done", then proceeded to have a mental melt down. The lesson? Do not bad mouth The Red Sox unless you're a Red Sox fan! Later, Kay found more trouble when the nice assistants at Bellevue had difficulty getting a straight-jacket over his big, stupid head!

The Sports People

Have you ever thought, "Hey I can write like the Sports Guy"? Well think no more! Thanks to the nice people at The Chicago Sports Review you too can columnize with the ferocity of of Darryl Dawkins on a styro-foam backboard during the 2003 Tet Festival. Write your irrelevancies with the same fervor of Bill Simons and post some snippets in the comments section of the Thom's blog. The best one gets beer! Free!

Happenings at Thom's

Tonight, like every Monday night is trivia night. Come on in a test your wits with our resident know-it-all John Quinn.

Tuesday night is Ka(y)reoke night. The Sox are on the road so that means that you get to call the game! Come on in and sign up for an half inning of play-by-play. (Please don't metion slavery or the Holocaust.)

After the game Paul Zunno, guitarist to the late Wilson Picket, will be playing. There's no cover so stick around and catch this amazing show.

Wednesday is Bingo night!

Save the date. On Friday, August 18 we'll be doing a fundraiser for the Buddy Walk. Some of the items available so far are a football signed by Adam Viniateri, a baseball signed by Jim Rice, Feeding The Monster signed by Seth Mnookin, and a month-long membership to Gold's gym. Check out the blog for more details!

(One more Moonshiners song for the road!)

Grab a potato grab four grab 8 no take all of them,

yeah grab a potato fry them boil them and eat them with the shell on.

No Such Thing As Clutch, My Ass!

I know there are a few people out there that still don't believe in the Patron Saint of Clutch, Big Papi. But, by the end of the year they will convert.

Faith has paid off again and again for followers of the big man with the big grin. Last night was no different. The party at Thom's went on to the wee hours as Sox fans counted ahead to the ninth inning to see where Ortiz would be batting. "If they can get just one on then Papi can come up with two outs and tie it." That idea floated through everyone's head. It wasn't "if" he would get a hit, it was how many runs he would knock in. Then there were two on and one out and up he came. They should have walked him. They should have taken their chances with Manny...

After you're done watching the video of the winning home run 100 times come on in tonight and every Tuesday for the music of Paul Zunno, guitarist to Wilson Picket. The show starts immediately after the Red Sox/Indians game.

Tomorrow night like every Wednesday Night, is Bingo Night with Salty McGuire. The show starts after the Sox/Cleveland game (Lester is pitching).

Looking ahead on the calendar, don't forget that the authors of How How to Talk To A Yankee Fan will be by on Thursday, August 17.

And, on August 18, we'll be having a fundraiser for the Buddy Walk, sponsored by the National Down Syndrome Society. They'll be auctions and specials to raise money for the walk. If you want to donate money or something to be auctioned let me know.

Ok, that's enough jibbering. You can watch the Ortiz homerun again.


"The Mob Goes Wild" by Clutch (Blast Tyrant)

Please allow me to adjust my pants
So that I may dance the good time dance
And put the onlookers and innocent bystanders into a trance

Proud as a Peacock My Ass!

NBC stands for Not going to Bother to Come, because on Tuesday night when they were supposed to cover Ka(y)reoke, they were not there. But, you were! The night was a hit without them. And what a hit. The Sox clobbered the A's on the way to a 13-5 victory. That's the last time we ever deal with NBC (unless of course they ask again, then we'll consider it). It's no wonder their ratings are so low. We were just trying to help.


Tonight there's another event at Thom's. Atlantis Health Plan is hosting a party from 7-10 with prizes and drink specials. Atlantis' rep Lara says, "The event is great for anyone who is a self-employed or works as an independent contractor." There will especially be all kinds of artists. Marketing materials are welcome.

Go to the blog for a highlight reel of the first half of the Red Sox season.

And now a glance into the future:

Catch Seth Mnookin, author of Feeding the Monster at the Barnes and Nobles in Union Square August 2, at 7 pm "In conversation with Doris Kearns Goodwin with signing to follow". Seth will also be making an appearance at Thom's in September.

Later in August Andy Wasif abd Rick D'Elia , authors of How to Talk to a Yankee Fan will be at Thom's promoting their new book.

If you have something you want to shill let us know.

A Call to Arms!

Arizona isn't the only state with wild fire.

NBC News is coming into Thom's tonight to document the latest craze spreading in NYC, Ka(y)reoke.

Come on in for the late night A's game and help us drown out those pesky Oakland announcers with your own brand of play-by-play.

Sign up online by e-mailing me or leaving a comment to this post to reserve your place at the podium with Wally. Places are going fast!


BTW Harold Reynolds just got fired from ESPN, so there's a job opening. This could be your audition.

Sign Up!

They asked the pitching to stretch it a little bit. And stretch it they did. Two straight 1-0 games! that was the first time the Sox did that since 1990 and the first time at home since 1916.

Ah 1916, I remember it well.It was a leap year I believe. The whole world was united in a common cause, war. Woodrow Wilson was president. Horton Foote was born. Rasputin died. And the Sox won the title against those pesky Robins from Brooklyn. In Game 2 Ruth pitched 14 innings giving up one run for the win. I knew that Ruth kid would be something someday.

The Sox are going west for a little while, so if you find yourself having trouble sleeping come on in to Thom's for some late night games.

Ok, that's all the good stuff. The bad news is that Jim's letter from the Red Sox still hasn't been returned, so we'll have to come up with something else. Stay tuned for a chance to sign the next thing that goes up on the wall.

Also, as many of you requested, we'll be sending a "get well" card to Gammons. Anyone that has any ideas for what exactly to send e-mail me or put it on the comments page of the blog. I'll make it available to sign at the bar next week.

Memories, pressed between the pages of my mind
Memories, sweetened thru the ages just like wine
Quiet thought come floating down
And settle softly to the ground
Like golden autumn leaves around my feet
I touched them and they burst apart with sweet memories,
Sweet memories
(words & music by bill strange - scott davis)

You Ought to Be in Pictures...

(btw, don't forget that the titles are always clickable. Open it in a new window for atmosphere.)

Look what the cat dragged in:

We did it again. We're hot! Another NY periodical has done a story on Thom's and it features many of our regulars. After reading this piece I just want to rock and roll all night. NY Magazine ran a story today about our Ka(y)reoke Tuesdays along with pictures of no less than 5 Thom's regulars. Now if that ain't something to believe in... If you can't get to the news stand check it out here: NY Mag.

Of course you couldn't write a story on the Sox in New York without the perspective of John Q. Reddsachsphan. You can read Q's take on it here.

And speaking of the Q, every Monday, the Omnipotent One hosts Trivia Night at Professor Thom's. So, if you want action tonight, come on in and have nothing but a good time. The Royals are at Fenway so the Olde Towne team should get back on track. But, lest we get over confident, remember, "every rose has its thorn." Come in and compete for the grand prize (are you ready for this?). You might win big! Two tickets to the hottest show of the year, your favorite band, Poison. That's right. You and a friend could see Poison live August 6. Unskinny Bop Bop!

Let's get this trivia ball rolling. The first person who can name for me two Hall of Fame baseball players born in Woonsocket, Rhode Island will win a pitcher of Harpoon. Hint: They both played for 20 years and managed.

So sit back with an Autocrat and tell me these two sons of "the biggest little state in the union."

Also, don't forget to come by Wednesday for Bingo where Jim will talk dirty to you.

Was it something I said or something I did
Did the words not come out right
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess that's why they say

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does
-Poison

Stop Thief!

There was a terrible tragedy last weekend! In fact It was so horrible that I can't even bring myself to explain it. Please click here: Terrible Tragedy.

Ok, so that was a dirty trick I had to lessen the blow of the bad news somehow with something so disturbing that you would be immune from anger. I was thinking of you. Really. (Can you believe that Stallone said "Life's not all sunshine and rainbows" in that trailer? Balboa is quoting Old Man Dunphy from "Outside Providence". Christ! If he's quoting Dunphy the movie can't be all that bad. I'm just worried what Bunny Cote is going to think of those boxing gloves.)

The real bad news is that the letter written by the Red Sox to our own Jim McGuire and signed by many of you which was framed and hung at Professor Thom's was stolen from the wall this weekend. (Read more about this at The Mighty Quinn Media Machine.)

If you have any information on who stole it, please don't tell us. Jim's far too pretty to go to jail. If you look on the stage on the back wall you will see a hole where there once was a cherished memory.

(Please click for atmosphere.)

We won't let this get us down though. We will persevere. We've been through tough times before and we will go on. This is a time when we must come together in a show of support. So, come on down to Professor Thom's. Misery loves company. Come share a beer with a fellow sufferer. We'll do our part; we will be showing the Red Sox play the Athletics all weekend! We'll even offer 20 oz Harpoon UFO (hefeweizen) for $5 during the games.

We Shall Overcome!

We are not afraid, we are not afraid

We are not afraid today

Oh deep in my heart, I do believe

That we shall overcome someday

Internationale

(Please click the title for atmosphere before reading this.)

It's a battle for the ages.

Nation against Nation.

All the world is watching!

And you can too.

Come to Professor Thom's Sunday and see arch nemeses go toe-to-toe.

Yes, it's the US versus Cuba in baseball!

Come out at 2pm and see undefeated Jose Contreras go up against Curt Schilling and your Boston Red Sox. Come mock White Sox fans who have only won a measly ONE World Series since 1917. The Red Sox have won at least 2 since then!

Get there early (1 pm) for the undercard as some bums from New York go against the Devil Rays in Tampa Bay. That's mighty close to Cuba. Those Devil Rays are defending our home turf from Communists! They need our support.

Oh yeah, while the 2004 World Series Champions are taking on the 2005 World Series Champions there'll also be a soccer game. Italy will be taking on France in the battle of the unbathed! The World Cup Final was audaciously scheduled opposite the Sox vs Sox game. You think somebody could have checked?

Well come down and see the circus. Three rings of fun, fun, fun.

Monday night will feature another international event. It's the Home Run derby. Come see the Major League's home run leader David Ortiz take on a bunch of other guys. We'll have specials all night to commemorate the event.

Tuesday night will feature a true international event: The All Star Game. This is the most anticipated...That is the most exciting...The ah, oh come out on a Tuesday and watch a few innings. Papelbon will be there!

Arise ye starvelings from your slumbers

Arise ye criminals of want

For reason in revolt now thundersand at last ends the age of cant.

Now away with all your superstitions

Servile masses arise, arise!

We'll change forthwith the old conditions

And spurn the dust to win the prize.

-Eugene Pottier

Happy Birthday America

Ah, July Fourth: The Charles River, Arthur Fiedler, the Hatch Shell, glow-sticks, fireworks, foot races put on by drunken vets at Smith's Playground in Allston , Butchie the drunk in a dunk tank, pony shit everywhere, that bottle rocket Paul Baia hit me with in the eye...

So many memories are tied to Independence Day. Why not tie your memories around an Harpoon at Thom's? What better way to celebrate America's birthday is there than an afternoon at Thom's? Thom's is apple pie.

Come see Germany and Italy face off in the semis of The World Cup.

And, at 4 pm the Sox take on Tampa Bay. On the mound for Tampa is our old friend Casey Fossum. The Sox will be starting Schilling.

Later that night check out this documentary on PBS about the Japanese High School baseball championship. It was made by a couple of Boston boys.

The Old Grey Mare...

Did a tear come to your eye when he took the mound?
Was it strange to see him in another team's uniform?
Were you conflicted just for a moment?
Did you surprise yourself with a vulnerable moment that led to an uncomfortable embrace by a stranger?

If you're anything like me then the answer to all of the above is "Yes". Because, last night a former Red Sox pitcher and fan favorite took the mound at Fenway Park for the visiting team.

Of course, I'm referring to Darren Oliver. For one glorious year in 2002 Darren Oliver pitched to a spectacular 4 and 5 record with flashes of his brilliant 11 and 11 season in Texas in 2001. I could see the tears in his eyes as he sat in the bullpen receiving a standing ovation from the fans at Fenway as the Mets starter walked to the mound. (I think I just shorted out my tilde key with a salty tear.)

The warmth in the room at Thom's last night was overwhelming as former Sox pitcher after former Sox pitcher came to the mound and got shellacked. 11 in a row baby!

Come out to Thom's tonight for the last game of the Mets series and see hometown boy Tommy Glavine (Billerica) take the mound at Fenway for what will likely be his last time.

We still have some Narragansett swag to give away.














Larry Brown at Thom's?

Ever read a Yankees blog?

The Long of it...

I still remember the first time I fell in love. It was also, of course, the first time my heart was broken.
I was sitting in Mrs. York's second grade class at the Jackson/Mann School in Allston learning how to spell "kat". Now, I know what you're thinking, but it wasn't Sandra Ng, or Michelle Miller, or Lourdes Oases. Yuck! They were girls. My love was higher, purer.

My brother Tom was home from the minor leagues and came into my class, spoke to Mrs. York briefly, and waited outside for me. Mrs York said, "Christopher, you're mother is very sick and your brother is here to take you home." The tears begin to well when I asked my brother what was wrong. Out of earshot of Mrs. York, he said, "Nothing. I got to tickets to see Pudge." Yipeeee! We jumped on the 57 Kenmore Sq. bus and spent the day at Fenway. "Pudge" was all I could talk about until he was gone two years later. "He plays for a different Sox now", my mother said. But, his number 27 was backwards. He wore 72.
I was confused and sad...

By 1999 I had moved to New York.
My brother Gerry called me asking if I wanted two tickets to the Sox-Yankees game. "Pedro's Pitching", he said. I'd seen Clemens pitch many times but I'd never seen the guy who replaced him. It was September 10, 1999, Randy Johnson's birthday, and Pedro pitched what David Cone and Wells called the best game ever pitched at Yankee Stadium. He struck out 17 batters and faced one over the minimum. I wore no Sox garb and cheered every K with quiet awe. The guys next to me, BC grads, were flummoxed. "You rooting for this guy?" One said. "Man, this is the best game I've ever seen. You have to be impressed." I answered. "No you don't. The Yankees are losing. That's all that matters." I told him I was a baseball fan first and got back, "I'm a Yankees fan first, then baseball. All that matters is that the Yankees win." Some "lady" in the handicap area asked a cop to kick me out. "He's a Red Sox fan." They did. It was the first time I ever got ejected from The Toilet.

It was then I began my mission behind enemy lines.

The Sox swept the series and made the playoffs, only to lose to the Yankees for the pennant. But, it didn't matter much. The future was bright. On the way Pedro turned in another of the greatest pitching performances ever. He threw 6 innings of no-hit relief against the Indians to help win the ALDS. He eventually took us to another two pennant series. We won the World Series. Then he was gone.

Until tonight. Come on down to Thom's and see Pedro's return.
$4 El Presidentes and $3 Narragansett's while supplies last.

Thomers enjoying Narragansett

More Pedro stories: SI, Touching All Bases, The Globe

Is this the end?
Mama told me one day it was gonna happen
But she never told me when.
She told me it would happen when I was much older.
Wish it would've happened then.
-New Edition

Brotherly Love or Sibling Rivalry?

This is becoming a bit of a rivalry. There's always something going on with these two. It's like the Superbowl all over again, but this time it's at home.

Of course, the duo I'm talking about is Marshmallow Fluff and peanut butter. Or, The Fluffernutter. Marshmallow Fluff was invented in Somerville, Mass in 1917, and moved up the shore to Lynn in 1920 where it's still made to this day. Controversy has surrounded this seemingly wholesome food of late. In March Williams-Sonoma was sued when they attempted to sell a candy which used the Fluff name without permission. And now, a State Senator from Somerville, the birth place of the American Flag and Fluff, is pursuing a bill that would ban the marshmallow cream from school cafeterias. "It's not a wholesome meal", said Senator Jarrett T. Barrios. "I'm not sure we should even be calling it a food." This has prompted a call to arms. Thom's regular, and noted Fluffer, Robert Young had this response: "That's bulls*it!" So, in true revolutionary fashion, New Englanders have stood up to be counted on the side of Fluff. And, due to the efforts of these Sons (and Daughters) of Liberty it would seem his fluff legislation is mired in the marshes. In fact, Sen. Barrios has prompted a counter-movement that is trying to establish the fluffernutter as the State Sandwich of Massachusettes. He should have known better than to mess with Lynn.

If you know a product that is "born and bred" New England, let me know and we'll profile it here.

Alrighty, back to the Red Sox. We host the Phillies this weekend, and the rumor is that they hate Fluff! How dare they? Come on out to Thom's and root against these misfluffists! The truth is that the Phillies are still bitter over the 1915 World Series when we kicked their asses 4 games to 1! (How Ernie Shore dropped that first game I'll never understand.)

Don't forget the Mets go to Fenway next week. Look for Rick's Picks on Tuesday, Pedro on Wednesday, and Narragansett all week long.


"Lynn, Lynn, the city of sin.
It's full of hookers you'd think were men.
Ask for a water, you'll get vodka and gin...
the place is yours for a dollar ten."
-Limerick

The Bats Are Back.

Congratulations to Kim Rossi, the winner of our Harpoon UFO raffle. Kim already took home a UFO glass on Thursday and now has a 12-pack waiting for her at the bar. This promotion isn't ending. Buy a UFO in a 20 oz glass and take the glass home with your second UFO.


The Sox finished a three game sweep of the Braves last night in fantastic fashion. We're in first place. It's good to know that when our pitchers falter the bats will be there to pick them up. We continue our tour of the NL East tonight with a series opener against one of our favorite teams: The Nationals.

Washington (Oops, sorry. Wrong Washington.) But, the Nat's did go "Boom, boom" They had back to back victories as against the Yankees in late innings, including a walk-off homerun against Wang yesterday by Zimmerman. (Oops, again. Wrong Zimmerman. I just can't these links right.)


Come out for our usual specials and give aways. And, stick around after the game tonight for Trivia with our new host John Q. Red Sox fan.
Wednesdays are Bingo nights. Come in and watch the Sox and play Bingo. Now that's America.

As the inter-league goes on, look ahead to the Mets next week. We'll be hosting an event with Rick's Picks.

We are still showing all of the World Cup games, too. So, come sit with Welsh Sox fan and keep him company, please.

Interleague is Nigh.

First of all thanks to everone that came out Tuesday for the Ka(y)reoke play-by-play. It was a great crowd. As annoying as Michael Kay is, the Twins' announcers were worse. At least we can root against Kay. The Twins' guys just put us to sleep, until you took the mike. We had all age groups and all of the sexes covered. We even broadcasted in two languages. And, look for it all in the pages of "New York Magazine" in the next two weeks, thanks to writer CJ Hughs.

Yes another periodical was there to see what we're up to. (Unfortunately, what we're upto is giving up grand slams in the 13th inning.) Christ, it looks like I'm starting to out media whore the media whores! "Savoir faire is everywhere".

The Ka(y)reoke is going to happen every Tuesday that the Sox are on the road. We're even going to start giving prizes to the best duo.

The dreaded Twinkies will be in the rearview mirror soon and the hated Braves will be our first interleague victim. Yes, it's our former nemisis from across Comm. Ave. As many of you know the Braves were the original Boston Red Sox, and haven't stoped teasing us about it since they stopped wearing Red Socks in 1907. Alright, there is no rivalry between these two teams and never was. The closest we came to one was 1948 when the Indians beat the Sox in a playoff game and then Braves in The World Series. How mortifying! Otherwise they have the distinction of having been Ruth's first and last teams. But, come out anyway and root for the Red Sox against the Braves at least as a warm up for the Mets series.

It's a Hit!

Starting this Tuesday we'll be doing Ka(y)reoke play-by-play every Tuesday. Come on in for tomorrow's 8:00 game versus the hated Minnesota Twins!

Harpoon IPA and Summer will be $3 during the game and Harpoon Saison will be $5 while supplies last.

Also, we'll be giving away two 12 packs of Harpoon UFO this week. Just buy a 20 oz of UFO to enter the contest.

Don't forget you can sign up online for the play-by-play.

Again, we are showing all of the World Cup games, just please don't tell Welsh Sox Fan the scores.

Gray skies are gonna to clear up!

What a difference a day makes! The Sox finally remembered how to play baseball and you were there.

Thanks to everyone who came in for the Yankee series. Every night was a success. Unfortunately, the trivia contest scheduled for Wednesday had to be postponed indefinitely. The Red Sox' own trivia master Rod Oreste and former Yankee Bucky Dent supplied us with some of the questions, so we'll get this done in the near future. Stay tuned for more details. And let me know if you want to take part.

Jason Grimsley, I am disappointed. Drugs in baseball? Who knew? But, Peter Gammons said this is the "clean era". What's a boy to think now? I saw a documentary on Tuesday that implicated the Red Sox as being involved in this problem from the outset. In 1974, Pawtucket, Rhode Island (home of the Sox Triple -A affiliate) was a hotbed for illegal activity. The documentary implicated one Stephen "Drugs" Delaney as a known supplier of any and all illegal substances. Delaney met an untimely death later that year in a car accident. But, his legacy lived on. (Alright, I'm obsessed with that movie.)

Two more people walked away with 12-packs of Harpoon IPA last night. There were T-shirts, pitchers, and cases given away all week and it won't stop there. More raffles and beer and food specials to come.

This weekend we're debuting Harpoon Saison. It's a light, high alcohol, summer beer, and there's only one keg. So get it while you can.

It's World Cup time and Thom's will be showing the games. (Download a full program here.) That means for a month or so we're going to have to tolerate people calling soccer "football". So, you might as well drink to justify your confusion. Also, WelshSoxFan is trying to set up a little game of football, ah, soccer, ah the thing where you kick the ball, a lot. If you're interested let him or me know.

Don't forget to vote for your favorite Red Sox in this year's All-Star game.

Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head

What an horrible week this has been. I mean this turn of events has been disturbing to say the least. I'm not sure this news will ever sit well. Outside Providence has been discontinued on DVD! Stock up now, because soon Tommy the Wire, Dunph, Bunny Cote, and Cavwich will go away.

What won't go away, though, is this indelible image: (indelible image). Sorry, wrong one. this is what I meant (Warning: The following clip contains adult content. This is not for the faint of heart.): Horror. I don't want to hear one more Yankee whiner complain about all of their injuries. There's no way Matsui makes that catch.

But, all is not lost, there are clear skies ahead. There is Curt Schilling, but with the rain out yesterday, we won't be back in first place no matter what happens tonight. There's always Ka(y)reoke (pictured above: Ken and Steve doing play-by-play). Yes, another chance to shut Michael Kay up and take the mike. It was such a hit on Tuesday that it's going to be a regular thing. We don't have to listen to this man. Say "no" to YES. Have no mercy on Murcer. Single out Singleton. Rise to O'Neil. Extinguish Leiter. Take the game back!

Please post your comments on this blog about the Ka(y)reoke.

'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me
-Hal David

Mea Culpa

That was awful, horrendous, embarassing! We're sorry you had to sit through that: Michael Leggett singing "Massachusetts" by the Bee Gees in an Ethel Merman wig. WOW!

Well, the world didn't come to an end, but it felt like it last night. The Sox stunk it up bad, and Beckett is giving up more home runs than Jenny Piccolo on "Happy Days".

Another huge apology for the technical difficulties of the play-by-play booth (I wish YES would say that once in a while). Hopefully we'll have it worked out for tonight. And, if it doesn't work, we'll just raffle off more pitchers of beer. The sign-up sheet is on the table in the back in front of the World Series Bunting.

Now the good news. The Village Voice loves our burgers! "[M]ay have been the best we'd ever had."
But, they hate our Amaretto Sours: "sweet as a ninth-inning rally"

This is our fourth mention in a New York periodical already. AM New York mentioned us, as did Crains and the New York Post. That's enough print to papier-mache the banana seat on my bike.

Don't forget, tomorrow is the baseball trivia challenge. And stick around after the game for Bingo night and maybe even a visit from our friends at YES network.

We're also going to be introducing a new Harpoon seasonal beer: Saison.

Come on in Sunday to try your luck at Poker.

Three more Yankee games, three more hangovers.

Feel I'm goin' back to Massachusetts
Something's telling me I must go home
And the lights all went down in Massachusetts
The day I left her standing on her own.
-Bee Gees

www.ProfessorThoms.com

666

It's the eve of the end of the world, 06/06/06, so come out and root for the Sox. Ths one is for all of the marbels! If the Sox win and the world ends tomorrow, then we'll be champions for all eternity. If the Sox lose then bring on damnation! And, in light of this recent prophecy, I've decided to move the Sox/Yankees baseball trivia match to Wednesday. If you have tons of useless baseball knowledge, let me know.
For example: What former Red Sox shortstop's name rhymes with Tomar?

Also, we still have room to sign up to do play-by-play.

Thanks to Buddy for this weeks correction. The proper spelling of "Canobie Lake" is such. Yo can take the boy out of New Hampshire, but...

Look for next week's erroneous mistake and win an half of beer at Thom's.
Go Sox.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance.
(rap:) just get on the floor and do the new kids' dance.
Don't worry 'bout nothing 'cause it won't take long.
(rap:) we're gonna put you in a trance with a funky song, 'cause you gotta be
Hangin' tough, hangin' tough, hangin' tough.
(rap:) we're rough.
-Jim McGuire